Holy Zarquon

No Rapture Time for me!

2011-11-15T04:51:00.003Z

This post tries to explain why I, a left leaning secular liberal humanist (liberal fascist to some), do not believe that Imran Khan (PTI) is the answer to our plaintive prayers. It is not an endorsement of the current political set up either, so please spare me that allegation.

Most of us, at least the people with half a brain, have some inkling as to what ails our country. If not, we are at least aware of the symptoms of the malady. Economically doomed, debt ridden, obsessed with nationalism and victim mentality, uneducated, with uncontrolled population growth with diminishing resources, etc. are from a long list of symptoms and problems that come to mind.

So one takes the symptoms and tries to find out the root cause. The most commonly arrived at answer is corruption, since that appears to be rampant among the people who are ruling us and have ruled us since Pakistan came into being. Its not a hard sell, since everyone perceives it and knows it is wrong.

I beg to differ. Corruption is a symptom, and not the cause. And I will try to explain why in this post.

So when someone like Imran Khan starts building a political movement based on "corruption" there is a basic issue of not even understanding the core problem. He is riding the wave of populist sentiments of being against the corrupt politicians of this country.

The intellectually bankrupt urban middle class, which has no inkling of critical thought, is more than ready to jump on the bandwagon of Imran Khan. Why? Because they can't see beyond IK's perceived integrity and charisma (which he has plenty of) that comes from being a celebrity who delivered beyond what was hoped for by being one of the brightest stars of cricket and subsequently his philanthropic mission of building a cancer hospital. So he hasn't disappointed them as yet, as far as they can tell.

So what is the problem here?

The problem is the establishment and the system that cultivates the establishment. The establishment stands for the status quo. The politicians come and go, they are a disposable lot, sure they are corrupt and get away with their corruption, but that's all part of the cost of doing business for the establishment.

For real change, someone has to stand up against the establishment and the system. And doing that is the challenge. IK is not anti-establishment, he is anti-politicians. Which will get him the following that he needs, like Musharraf was popular because he promised that he would rid us of the Bhuttos and the Sharifs. Look where he ended up. The establishment and the system got them all back into business.

And that is why I have not signed up for the revolution. I shall wait for Zarquon's second coming.

Interview with a Security Guru

2011-05-23T08:43:00.002+01:00

With the ongoing security situation in Pakistan, especially with the military, yours truly decided to conduct an in depth interview with a very senior security consultant codename USE. For reasons of security (what else?) his name will not be disclosed, suffice to say that he is a very senior military officer, expert in everything (like all of us), and most of all matters of national and internal security.

Me: Hello sir!
USE: At ease, bloody civilian.

Me: Thank you sir. Can you please shed some light on the recurring breaches of security and sovereignty that are happening?
USE: What rubbish! There has never been a breach, ever.

Me: Sir, you said the same thing when the GHQ was attacked two years ago....
USE: It has come to light that it was a joint jooish/raw/indian saazish, and nothing really happened, just like the OBL thing that happened in Abottabad was a figment of imagination. There was no OBL, no blackhawk, no house, no nothing.

Me: How do you know that?
USE: General Aslam Beg told me.

Me: Oh ok! What about the attack on PNS Mehran?
USE: What attack? Thats just some Hindus lighting up firecrackers on Sharae Faisal.

Me: There are still some Hindus left in Pakistan? Isn't that a security breach in itself?
USE: No, they are actually Muslims pretending to be Hindus, pretending to be Taliban. Mr. Zaid Hamid told me.

Me: So the Taliban are Indian agents, pretending to be Muslim, when they are actually Muslims pretending to be Hindus, but terrorists can't be Muslims, so what is the real story?
USE: Raymond Davis.

Me: Raymond Davis?
USE: Yes, he was the handler of the make-believe OBL who was NOT hiding in Abottabad.

Me: OK. So what is the strategy to deal with this?
USE: Stop the drone strikes.

Me: How will that help?
USE: It will create strategic depth in Afghanistan, so when the Americans leave, since that is the only reason the OBL make-believe operation was done, we will use them to conquer the world. And protect our strategic assets.

Me: What good are the strategic assets when we can't even stop the Indian Agents who are pretending to be Taliban and Baloch separatists?
USE: We couldn't have spent all that money on stupid things like education and health and all that rubbish. So at least we have something to show for it.

Me: What's the endgame?
USE: To get more money. Quote Clinton "Its the economy, stupid." When the COAS said we will sacrifice prosperity for honour, he meant prosperity for the poor people.

Me: Sir I don't understand any of this.
USE: You are a bloody civilian, how can you?

Me: Do we really have strategic assets?
USE: No, we are working with the Americans on using HAARP. Dr. Atta told me.

Me: I am totally confused now.
USE: Let me sum it up for you. The Hindus/Joos want to take over our strategic assets, so that we are powerless.

Me: But we are powerless now, the drone strikes, the OBL operation, the Hindus attacking our military, how much more powerless can we get?
USE: None of those things happened.

Me: Even the drone strikes?
USE: They must be stopped. Imran Khan told me. Once they are stopped, PTI will hold jirgas everywhere and that will solve all our problems.

Me: But I thought you said none of this is really happening.
USE: It isn't.

Me: Thank you sir, it was a very illuminating experience.
USE: Thank you

The question

2011-01-13T09:33:00.002Z

From a concluding post on a forum following the murder of Salman Taseer, the governor of Punjab for supporting a victim of the infamous blasphemy law of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan....

I find it very interesting that nobody can give a simple answer to a pretty straightforward question.

Let me restate the question

If a believer in a certain god is asked by his/her god to do something which may be illegal/immoral by the believer's standards, can the believer argue that command?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Since the premise of the question is that the person is a believer in that particular god, and the legality and morality is determined by the god, anything the god commands becomes legal and moral. (Nixon anyone?)

When Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son on a mountaintop by Yahweh (please insert god of choice), there was no question of this command being illegal or immoral. The only question was whether Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son to his god or not. As Abraham led his son up the mountain (Ishmael or Isaac depending on which holy book you subscribe to), there was no question in Abraham's mind as to what he was going to do when he got there. I am pretty sure that the faithful do not rejoice in the big switcheroo, they celebrate Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son.

Which brings me to the real problem here. There is no freedom to disagree in faith, because that is what it is by definition, a belief not based in logic or rationality but mere dogma.

How does one differentiate between the ranting of a delusional man who thinks he has been ordered by god to kill someone and another follower of the same god who thinks they have been ordered not to kill anyone?

Both positions are faith based, and non-arguable.

If the faithful find it impossible to even argue a hypothetical question about their god issuing an illegal command, I feel it is improbable they will ever actually question a belief however misplaced or deluded it may be.

So, I am not surprised when one of the faithful performs an extra-judicial murder, since by our own admission, the judicial powers do not exist here, they emanate from above.

The Panacea

2010-11-04T08:03:00.002Z

Its been a while, but I am back.

So when we thought things couldn't get worse, they just did and it seems that there is no light at the end of the tunnel (It was announced by WAPDA that because of the power shortfall, the light at the end of the tunnel was switched off).

If there is one thing that all of us agree with, it is that this country is in trouble. Different schools of thought ascribe this to different reasons and offer solutions based on their particular understanding of social sciences and human interaction.

Lets make a list of whats wrong with us, I imagine the list (in no particular order) would look like the following

1. Rampant corruption
2. Minimal literacy
3. Deteriorating economy
4. Large foreign debt
5. Political instability

And the list goes on and on. You may notice that I have left one thing out, which is lawlessness, but that was done on purpose since I feel that may be the root cause for most of these maladies. When it comes to law, I think the following holds true

1. We don't understand what law is beyond a superficial perception and that is fine.
2. People in general don't trust the law enforcement agencies and the justice system. Justice is dependent on who you are and who you know.
3. Breaking the law is a sign of stature, the higher you are in society, the more laws you break.

So keeping all of this in mind, how do we go about finding a solution and fixing things?

First of all, it will not be easy fixing this mess, it will be a long hard struggle. There is no silver bullet to bite here, despite what the religious/political fanatics tell you. I think that if we are lucky, and if we do things right, we may see a positive change in twenty five years or so. Also it needs to be a simple solution which is doable. The fantastic dreams of Utopia are conditional upon impossible things which will never happen, so my solution is simple and doable, since it is not an abstract idea. It is not easy either, but I feel it can be done and there are examples of it even in a chaotic society like ours.

I assert that if we can enforce the basic laws of human interaction and societal living, the bigger problems will diminish with time. Every time we step out of our homes, there is a basic code that we have all agreed upon and laws that have been written down, and its these rules and laws that must be implemented with force. Nothing too complicated, things as simple as not throwing trash in the streets, obeying traffic rules, respecting all life forms, etc.

And there it is. The Broken Windows Theory supports this solution which states that if you solve the simple problems, there will not be many bigger problems to deal with or at least that is my interpretation of it.

That is my solution to our problem, to maybe wish for a better place that our children will grow up in, not this chaotic anarchy that is getting worse by the day.

Oppression or submission?

2009-06-20T08:10:00.002+01:00

The French are mulling over whether they can pass a law making it illegal for a woman to wear a burqa.

The Muslims will say that this is something that the women are doing without being forced to do so, as an act of submission to their god.

My question is, when the Hindu women were throwing themselves on the funeral pyres of their husbands, they were also doing it without being forced to, weren't they?

Which will result in the obvious question whether voluntarily burning one's self to death is the same as wearing a burqa.

The answer is yes, when it comes to following religious or cultural edicts, without any logical reason, they both fall into the same category. So if society can legislate to outlaw women burning themselves to death, can they also be allowed to stop this seemingly harmless code of dress?

The Tree

2009-05-22T10:01:00.001+01:00

Is still there :-)

Ramblings

2009-04-25T07:00:00.002+01:00

A few random thoughts

1. There must be something wrong with a belief that sanctifies the willingness to take one's own child's life. I am okay with "risking" one's life or possessions for something that one believes in, not okay with sacrificing life in any form or shape just to please a higher calling or cause. Kamikazes, suicide bombers, etc. all fall in the latter category.

2. My fight is against irrationality, caused by anything. A lot of it is due to faith, which is one obvious cause of becoming irrational. But I have found that there are quite a few other things out there which cause humankind to behave in the strangest of ways. It is hard enough to understand things that have a logical reason, I am stumped when I see people accepting things without any reason whatsoever.

3. It could be a fight to retain one's identity, the reason we try to justify the labels that we wear. For example, we call ourselves Pakistanis or Muslims, but at the same time, we keep saying that all those doing the crazy things are not one of us (at least the partially sane ones do). So if they aren't part of our group, and they say they are, who are they? And more importantly, who are we?

When will the craziness end? I am not hopeful that I will see an age of reason in my lifetime.

To flog or not to flog?

2009-04-08T07:28:00.002+01:00

I don't know if anyone can or will answer my question that I have come up with after reading, watching and hearing about the flogging of the girl in Swat or wherever, and the comments of different people on various media.

Our misogynist taliban are saying that this was done six months ago. I guess in their minds, that is the statute of limitation. A lot of others are saying that its a degrading punishment and should not be done. To a lot of other idiots, this is a Jewish conspiracy to malign the good name of our holy warriors. Saying that this is a plot to undermine the good deeds of the drug growing, beard and danda/gun wielding friends. I love the latter the most.

My question is not about these things.

The death penalty has been abolished in most of the civilized world today. Only the mullahs of Saudi Arabia and the born again Christians of the United States seem to endorse and enforce it. As Pakistanis, we as usual don't have a clue. It is part of the penal code, but lately there have been some moves to do away with it. Have no clue why or whether anything will come of it. So I would think that capital punishment has been declared as inhuman. But to societies that practice it, I would think it is the norm.

Now moving on to our shariah implementers, is this acceptable to the population who lives in those parts? Are flogging a girl, stoning people, cutting of hands, etc. acceptable to them? If yes, what is the problem? We are already the lowest of the low, what difference will that make to our standing? This is our way.

Now there are idiots like me, who feel that this is wrong. The reason why this is wrong is because this is based on the interpretation of the Islamic code of justice that was formulated 1400 some years ago by a medieval society and that should change as society changes.

And now come the apologists, who will say that technically there is nothing wrong with it, but we don't like to do this any more. As long as there is a provision in the law, I don't buy this argument. And then there is another thing, it is the wrong interpretation. Which brings us to the question I want to ask

"Which interpretation should be followed?"

I am sure every group feels that they have the correct and divine right to interpret the law the way they want it. But what about the others who don't agree with them?

Blowing up for Swat

2009-02-17T06:18:00.003Z

The title is stolen from Bowling for Columbine, not that I am a big fan of Michael Moore, who I think starts off by asking the right questions and then usually reaches the wrong conclusions.

So there we have it, in the valley of Swat, the government of NWFP (Read Pakistan) has agreed to implement Nizam-e-Adal with the help of the local armed and dangerous warlords. I am not sure what that means, and pretty sure that nobody really knows what it means, but so be it.

They have tried doing this a few times before, I remember in the nineties, they wanted everyone to drive on the right side of the road, since driving on the left is synonymous with driving with Satan. Although that might mean that they would require left hand drive cars, I am pretty sure they didn't think that through.

The Frontier constabulary moved in, and everyone went back to the left side of the road.

After the state's miserable failure at trying to enforce the rule of law for a while, it has been decided that the only way to achieve peace is to give in, amen!

I remember going to Swat in my childhood. I missed out visiting Malam Jabba, which was burnt down last year by the same people who are now going to rule the valley. I do have some great memories of staying in a place called Miandum. Maybe in a few years, outsiders will be allowed to visit the valley after being cleared with having the requisite length of beard and burqa transparency or lack thereof. What will the valley offer as tourist attractions?

I think the biggest attraction will be bombed out schools, the guides will show proudly how they wiped out the dens of vice, that provided basic education to girls and then I think they will move on to bombing all schools which ensures virtue for all.

Swat is also big with timber companies, that cut down trees against the feeble writ of the government, and this new development will help in cutting down pretty much everything that is standing. That should provide some employment for the people there, well at least till they have something to cut down. After a few years, this uneducated lot, who has experience in logging, will follow their ancestors' path of moving south and bringing enlightenment to the rest of the world.

The good news is that after they have all moved out, in a few centuries people may be able to go back there and there will be no sign of them. The Indus Valley civilization had covered drains, which we haven't been able to reconstruct, so nothing will be left. There is always a silver lining to be found!

The killing must stop

2009-01-12T06:31:00.002Z

My first knee jerk response to Israelis attacking Gaza was that Hamas is firing rockets at Israel, so I guess this is justified. After thinking about it for a bit, I realized that I was wrong and so is everyone else, on every side.

I just wish people learned from history. The Israeli Jews did not learn anything from the past. They have been persecuted since recorded time, starting with the Egyptians treating them as slaves which led to the exodus. Then they are thought to be responsible for getting Jesus hung on a cross with the connivance of the Romans. The Romans redeemed themselves by taking up the cause of Christianity, but the Jews were not forgiven. The next big thing, Islam, followed in the footsteps of Christianity, confirming Jews as the cursed lot. And there we have it.

So the world decides to assuage their collective guilt by drawing lines on a map, with no regard for what implications that may have. Its all wrong, the Israelies are wrong, the Palestinians are wrong, and so is the rest of the world. The killings need to stop. The question is how do we stop the violence without violence. Is there a short term solution to this?

Israel must understand that killing Palestinians is not an answer. Hitler and the Nazis tried to exterminate all the Jews, but that didn't work. And even if the world managed to send a lot of Jews to the promised land, the troubles that originate from the holy land come back and bite them in the ass every once in a while.

There must be a way out, or shall we give up? The Jews need to get over their victim mentality. All of us need to get over this. And for those who are praying for rapture, I got some bad news for you sunshine, it ain't happening!

One Year in Forty Minutes

2009-01-02T06:39:00.000Z

Viva Le Republique

2008-12-31T09:50:00.003Z

This from todays newspaper

Shabab-e-Milli warns of dire consequences over New Year celebrations

KARACHI: Shabab-e-Milli, a wing of Jamaat-e-Islami, has threatened the provincial administration and owners of five star hotels and restaurants in Karachi of dire consequences if they allowed “vulgar” celebrations in lieu of New Year. “We have requested the owners of hotels, motels and restaurants to refrain from Kharafaat (vulgar activities) during the holy month of Muharram, otherwise the Shabab-e-Milli’s baton force will not hesitate in taking necessary steps”, said Milli President Muhammad Yousaf Munir. Speaking at a press conference held in Idara Noor-e-Haq, Munir said, “We have requested the government to close all routes leading towards Seaview as well as close the wine shops. People buying wine should be arrested and given strict punishment.” He further warned, “If the administration will not comply with our request and vulgarity is seen in the name of New Year celebration, the government will be responsible for any situation.” He urged the youth and citizens to focus on praying rather then indulging in such useless festivities. staff report

And then we wonder why. If these self appointed guardians of morals are allowed to get away with threatening life and property, why are we surprised when our leaders are allowed to escape accountability? And why the world can find links back to us wherever anything goes wrong.

Long live this republic and a happy new year!

Bush and the shoes

2008-12-29T07:55:00.002Z

I thought it was a sad sight, humanity reduced to throwing shoes at someone we don't like. Didn't make me happy.

I would have been really happy if someone decided to take the governments responsible to the International Courts of Justice and was pursuing a case of war crimes against them and the people directly responsible for it. Now that is something I would get really excited about.

The sight of that poor sod throwing his shoes and the subsequent adulation of this act just demonstrates that we are still stuck at a lower level of humanity, where violence or symbolic acts of violence are used to retaliate against injustice.

So pardon me for not joining the celebrations!

Thought we were the only ones

2008-12-18T08:08:00.004Z

With Hillary Clinton leaving to become the Secretary of State, Caroline Kennedy is a candidate for her seat in the Senate. Which will be bestowed upon her by the Governor of the state of New York.

Her qualifications, well she is the daughter of a slain President and niece of a slain Attorney General and later Senator. I am sure she has done other things as well, but this outshines everything.

Reminds me of how we choose our representatives. Thank god its not just us who support dynasties.

Viva la banana!

Obama talks about religion

2008-12-12T10:31:00.002Z

I am going out on a limb here. I don't know what Mr. Obama wants to do or will be able to do. But for once, I will not be as skeptical as I usually am. Listen to what he has to say and maybe you will have hope too.

PS After Dubya, anyone would sound like a higher being, but this stuff is good

In search of Arcadia

2008-11-29T05:18:00.003Z

Mankind has always been looking for utopias, I assume initially because of harsh climatic conditions and scarce food sources, and then as societies developed, these utopias were a means of escape from the prevailing conditions. I suppose the earliest recorded search for a utopia was when Moses led his people out of Egypt, Yahweh promising them a land for the Jews. Humankind has always been on the move, and there is DNA evidence that the homosapiens spread all over the world in search of first basic needs of food and shelter and then moved up to bigger things.

Acadia is the old name for Nova Scotia, it was colonized by some French people who were looking for Arcadia. Arcadia being the name of an idyllic place in Greece, which provided refuge to people escaping their lives and troubles. Arcadia became the model utopia after Sannazaro, an Italian poet wrote the poem Arcadia.

So there we have it, people suffering persecution, starvation, discrimination, etc. etc. or maybe even fantasizing about an ideal place where everything works just the way they want it, conjure up an imaginary place in their heads, their Arcadias.

The new world was mostly made up of people searching for this perfection. They were escaping from societies that they felt did not allow them to live the way they wanted. New ideologies and new religions were envisioned. And so life went on. As travel became easier more and more people moved, looking for better economic opportunities and better lives.

It took the Jews fourty years of wandering in the desert, and centuries later they still haven't found their Zion. The colonization of the new world took its toll, the native people had to pay very dearly for for it. Ask the Native Americans and the Aborigines. And the question is whether these people found their utopias? Maybe for a little while they did, and then they went back to forcing people to dream of newer Arcadias. The French people in Nova Scotia landed up in Louisiana and made music and good food, but suffer from a genetic disorder which makes them blind caused by inbreeding.

The Muslims of the Indian sub-continent created their own utopia, which has been crumbling since the start. Societies are created by people, and these utopias are made of the same people, so in reality there is no escape. All the problems will catch up with them sooner or later. That is not to say that one should accept injustices, and not aim for higher ideals, its just that fantasizing about these things is not going to help.

We base our fantasies on myths and legends, they rarely exist in the present. So we are either lamenting the lost glory days or dreaming about the future. Life is what happens today, make the best of it. So when I hear people tell me that the reason why there is so much trouble is because we don't follow the righteous path, I can only roll my eyes and wish they read history.

Damn, there goes yoga!

2008-11-26T08:14:00.003Z

I am not a yoga person, although I hear that its a really good exercise. All the breathing in and out and stretching must be good. Apparently using the word Om is an integral part of this workout, which led to some Malaysian mullahs declaring Yoga to be un-Islamic, since it would subconsciously convert all yogis (those practicing yoga, I assume) into Hindus. Now that can have pretty dangerous consequences for Muslims, in Malaysia for example, this means being sent to an institution which tries to teach you things that convince you to stay a Muslim. In other more zealous parts of the Islamic world, this could mean a death sentence, that being the punishment for apostasy.

So be it!

Last year in May, Professor Ezzat Atiya of the Al-Azhar University Cairo found a novel solution to a problem faced by today's working women. As per some zealous Islamic societies, a woman cannot be alone with a man since the devil will make them fornicate. He looked at Hadees, and found the following

Sahih Muslim, Book 8, Number 3425 states:

'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Salim, the freed slave of Abu Hadhaifa, lived with him and his family in their house. She (i. e. the daughter of Suhail came to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) and said: Salim has attained (purbety) as men attain, and he understands what they understand, and he enters our house freely, I, however, perceive that something (rankles) in the heart of Abu Hudhaifa, whereupon Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said to her: Suckle him and you would become unlawful for him, and (the rankling) which Abu Hudhaifa feels in his heart will disappear. She returned and said: So I suckled him, and what (was there) in the heart of Abu Hudhaifa disappeared.

Based on the above, he declared that if a woman breast feeds all the males in her surroundings, they would become mehrams (in a non-sexual way) and thus solving the problem.

Give the guy some points for thinking out of the box! Unfortunately, he was fired from his position and this was not made into a law of some sort.

I am very fond of the argument put forward by some apologists that "these are different times and some things don't apply anymore," which is a very slippery slope. If certain things are not applicable anymore, who decides what those things are. Getting married to a nine year old, for example is obviously not allowed anymore. What about certain other practices that the followers zealously undertake? Fasting, praying five times, not shaving, etc. etc. Just because some of these totally outrageous things make us look like idiots, we claim that they are not for today's age. Why not re-look at all of them?

I forget, its about faith, which dictates that we do not question them. So be it, and let the faithful do whatever they want and not expect reason. I, for one, will give it all a miss.

Obama has won!

2008-11-05T06:17:00.003Z

I have managed to fool the gods. I would like to thank George W. Bush for getting me so involved in the US presidential race. If it weren't for him, I don't think I would have been so interested.

This proves a few things

1. The American masses have been convinced that Bush was a mistake, and they have tried to rectify it.
2. Money talks, the Democrats have broken all records in terms of spending for elections.
3. Obama is a smart man, to get here, he must be at least five times smarter than everyone else, probably more ruthless as well. But he has made it.
4. Sometimes, timing is everything. Even for the right things to happen, it requires certain things to be in place. For Obama, i feel it was the war, and lately the economic crisis.

Gives me hope. Sitting in Zardaristan, I can at least aspire for good things.

Who will be the next leader of the free world, part two

2008-10-21T06:15:00.003+01:00

Readers thought that part one was hilarious, although I was trying to be very serious. Hmmmm, must be losing my touch.

McCain plods on, trying very hard to lose this election. Conventional wisdom says he will still win. I am just trying to fool the gods. I was thinking about something which has been articulated by a lot of people since then, about Obama being a Muslim. Why should his religion matter? I guess it could be because Bush's evangelical Christianity hasn't gone down too well with people (keep dreaming). Or the fact that being a Muslim in these times isn't a sure thing to win a popularity contest. I have always been fascinated by the whole "Muslim Name" thing. The misconception that there is such a thing, although historically people who converted in the times of Mohammad and later would generally take on a new name. Most Arabic, Hebrew and Persian names, that have been around before Islam, had nothing to do with a person's faith. And the evangelical Muslims have always insisted that a convert change their name, Muhammad Ali and Yousuf Islam being two famous examples. I wonder if most Muslims know that these cultural titles have more to do with linguistics rather than anything else. But I digress.

I would like Obama to win, it will prove me wrong. It would tell me that the Americans still have some sense left. The fact that nothing will change notwithstanding. I would like Sarah Palin to be forgotten as I wish to forget the veiled Al-Huda ladies. But I am just a dreamer, and will wake up to reality soon.

The New Old Genre

2008-10-21T06:03:00.003+01:00

Living in a country where you can only watch very few blockbuster type movies in theatres and the only other choice being bad pirated copies of some movies, availability depending on the whims of the dvd suppliers, I have come up with a solution that works really well for me.

Go to apple.com, downloads, and watch the trailers in HD. Even the terrible ones seem to be very good. So I propose that a new genre of movies should be universally acknowledged, which is the two minute movie. They should have awards like the oscars for them in various categories, although the voice over seems to be done by the same guy. I am sure it will be very exciting.

Enjoy!

Who will be the next leader of the free world?

2008-10-15T06:23:00.004+01:00

We already know Mr. Zardari is our President, I am referring to the US elections that are happening in 20 days, unfortunately the leader of the free world is a misnomer, but sometimes these things stick for no reason.

I have been following the build up to the elections in one way or another, sometimes willingly, and at other times, forced to by the media coverage. So we have seen a long drawn out democratic nomination battle between Ms. Clinton and Mr. Obama, and the lackluster republication candidate Mr. McCain. So here is what I think.

The republican candidates for president and vp are straight of out the medieval world. Ms. Palin would put our Jamia Hafsa ladies to shame, with her views on most everything. She thinks that the polar bears will start living on land once the ice melts after they drill the arctic for oil. Just for that, I love her. Thanks to her unwavering belief in god, if it is his will, the polar bears might learn to fly or swim to the Antarctica. She is the product of the neocons age, only god can help US (both the United States and us) when she becomes the President (the actuarial chances of Mr. McCain surviving the next few years being pretty low). As for him, he belongs to the old boys club, who will make sure that the rich get more and bigger tax breaks and everyone and everything else can go to hell.

The democratic candidate Mr. Obama seems a bit more interesting. He is not the typical African American, because he was born to a Kenyan student and American mother. Spent his early childhood in Indonesia with an Indonesian step father, came back to live with his grandparents and went to Harvard Law School. So he is not a brother from the streets of South Chicago. His nomination as the black presidential candidate is a first in the history of US, so its a small but significant step. Mr. Obama is trying very hard to shake off his dubious middle name of Hussein.

With the economy meltdown and Bush and the congress bailing out the financial market, a lot of Americans are very unhappy with the republicans and this shows in the recent opinion polls with Obama leading ten points ahead. The question is whether this will show in the actual polls.

My prediction is that it will not, and the republicans will have another four years in the white house. This is because of the dumbing down of the American society, thanks in part to two terms of Bush and born again Christians and Muslims in America and the rest of the world. My only worry is whether Ms. Palin can become the next President or not because I fear for Alaska and polar bears.

The New Consipracy Theory

2008-09-15T07:47:00.003+01:00

I might as well confess that this one is something that I have dreamt up all on my own. The way it started was that I was trying to understand whats happening in Afghanistan and our wild west, with the militants and talibans and whatnot. The following is what makes sense to me.

I am assuming that there is a group of people out there who think that the failure of the Soviet Afghan adventure and their subsequent collapse as a super power is a model that may be followed as true. The US is entrenched in both Afghanistan and Iraq for many reasons but the main one would be to control areas that have oil or may be required to get access to oil. So these people think that by getting America and her allies embroiled in this type of guerrilla war, sooner or later, US will be defeated and this will lead to their eventual collapse. This group then becomes responsible for aiding the militants/talibans/terrorists by giving them cash and or arms ammunitions, and using our wild west as the launching grounds for these offensives. The only difference is that this time around, the government of Pakistan is not endorsing these activities for obvious reasons. That is not to say that the government is involved, just that even if they were involved, they couldn't admit it.

The next question is, who are these people? The usual suspects would be the Saudis, Iranians (mutually exclusive, or so I think) or dare I say it, could it be the Russians?

FDR met with the Saudi King in 1945 aboard a US naval ship. Since then the royal family of KSA has waltzed with the yankees doing everything the holy father in Washington has asked for. But there has been an underlying dissent by people like our friend Ossama. So this group could be made up of people like that, with the money and the motive.

Based on the oldest rivalry in the region between the Arabs and the Persian Empire, the Iranians are next. And they have been against the yanks since forever. I feel it also has to do with the fact that the Saudis decided to side with the US. The US has tried everything, first putting the Shah on the throne, something that didn't last very long. The war with Iraq, with the US on Saddam's side. They have the oil (thus the money) and the motive.

My money would be on the Soviets. I wouldn't put it past my friend Putin to dream up a diabolical plot to bring down the US hegemony. In this fast changing world, where yesterday's friends are today's enemies, a Russian-Taliban alliance would not surprise me at all. Probably fronted by someone else, that would be my guess.

So there you have it, one or more of these groups working together for the state of unrest in the region, whether they will be successful or not, only time will tell!

Hail to the new chief

2008-09-10T06:29:00.003+01:00

The coronation has taken place and we have a new king. For someone who was conspicuous by absence as late as December of last year, to come this far is incredible. All the more power to him!

His brilliant wheeling dealing have left no doubts that this is a man of no scruples when it comes to getting his way. Him claiming that whatever he says is not holy writ should make sure everyone knows that he is not a man of his word, and that every thing that he says, is said for expediency's sake and cannot be taken seriously at all. So when he says that parliament is supreme, is that holy writ? I hope the idiots at the receiving end have learnt their lesson, but I have serious misgivings about that.

Let's see what havoc he creates this time around.

In the meanwhile, in a parallel universe but far away from the la la land that we seem to be living in our minds, the realities are still being met with denial. The economy is screwed, all the foreign investments have been pulled out from the stock markets and real estate. As the dollar weakens against all major currencies, the ruppee keeps falling because there is great demand. Inflation has seen new highs in the last few months.

The power distribution companies have minimized their electricity generation and are not paying the companies who are producing it, because the biggest customers, who are the federal and provincial governments have not paid. So the manufacturing and textile industries who are already suffering, don't get enough power to run their units. Our solution, instead of investing in making uninterrupted power available to all, and getting money from their customers (who will be able to run their businesses and pay their bills), the government wants to cut down the working week, so with five days of work with the same available power, they expect that more will be done. It doesn't add up. But who is to argue with stupidity. I just read that they have also increased tariff by 40%.

I am all for a five day week, but this does not make any sense.

The media hype was that we are taking the militants more seriously in terms of dealing with them. I don't know what the truth is or whether anything has changed. There are conspiracy theories galore, my only question would be about who is supporting them with the cash and arms and ammunition? That answer alone would clear up a lot of things. But I don't know the answer and maybe never will. So I sit and wait to see what happens next. If I had the option, I would bail out and go and live in luxury in the south of France. But my meager savings are getting smaller day by day and I am not sure whether they will last me beyond a day or two in Nice. So I sit here, with my head in the sand, hoping for a miracle. I delude myself, as usual.

Here we go again

2008-09-04T06:21:00.003+01:00

When will this end? Five women are reportedly buried alive in Balochistan. For allegedly wanting to marry out of their own choice and supporting the idea. And how does the upper house of representatives react? The senator from the area says that its part of the Baloch tradition and therefore it must be accepted. The usual suspects condemn the act and the senator and that is about it.

Suddenly after all the hue and cry, and the autopsy, it is discovered that the women were not buried alive, they were killed before they were buried. Everyone breathes a sigh a relief. Excuse me? So because they were not disposed off in the honourable Baloch fashion, it suddenly becomes okay?

In another news, a seventeen year girl who goes to court to get her marriage annulled, is shot dead by her brothers and father or both. This marriage took place when the girl was 9 years old.

I refuse to use the term that is used for these murders, because murder is what this is and nothing else.

What will happen next? Will the courts and the law do something about it? Oh I forget, according to the Islamic law (Qisaas and Diyat), the brothers will be excused by the father and everyone will go home. Does it make sense? No. Does someone stand up and say this is wrong? Yes, but not one of the Islamic scholars have ever come forward to say it. Makes me think that it is okay according to Islamic law. And if it is, time to change that law. But its a losing battle. Fighting or arguing against absolute truths is generally futile.

I have always maintained that the erstwhile CJ was someone who would at least get the courts moving by his infamous suo motto moves. But alas, he is no more. Our future president, who has been freshly baptized and cleansed of all alleged wrong doings in the past, just cannot afford to have him around, just like our ex-President, both of whom would have been told that they have broken the law and are accountable. And then again FL has been given a get out of jail card, so everything is cool again.

Where does it end?

According to the apologists, this is what justifies the Talibans. I wouldn't mind, if they were even a shade better. But unfortunately they are as bad, if not worse. I say the pox on them both. I am not going to choose the lesser evil. I will hold out till I find a movement that is worthy.

Farewell FL

2008-08-19T10:12:00.004+01:00

In my heart of hearts, I like FL. That's because he is so predictable, a pukka soldier type, with very limited vision outside his domain. He should have done well to have retired as the army chief, with his house in zamzama and kids doing well (not counting the Kargil fiasco). But it was not to be. The gunja had to wave a red flag in front of him and the rest is history.

I also do not agree with his list of feats that he claims to have accomplished during his reign. The highlights were as follows

1. Foreign exchange reserves. Rubbish, thanks to the war on terror, hundi had to be stopped. So most of the dollars that we being sent through illegal channels, started coming through the banks. And all the cash that was sent to us by Uncle Sam, that helped too. So yes, the forex levels did go up, but it had nothing to do with him. Must add the petty cash that he claims to have added by the country acting as a bounty hunter.

2. Earthquake Relief. Is he serious? All we got were loans, there were zero grants. So he went out and got Pakistan more loans, brilliant!

3. Women's rights. I just have two words for that, Mukhtaran Mai. Thanks to FL and his beloved Special Advisor, this showed the rest of the world how we respect our women. And can anyone forget his famous words regarding immigration to Canada by getting raped?

4. Free and Fair Elections. I must point out the referendum, where he secured 98% of the vote in his favour. Bollocks!

5. Water and Power. Oh sorry, he couldn't do jack about that.

6. Lal Masjid. Oops, that was the Chaudhries not him.

The list can go forever. I am trying to recall whether he did anything good. I am sure he tried to do some good as well, but did not have the gumption to see those things to the end. My biggest gripe with him has always been the fact that he would make a u-turn on everything that he said. He said he was going to reform the hadood ordinance, before he cowered down before the mullahs. He said he was going to rid us of the Bhuttos and Sharifs, but brought them back.

The sad part is the gloom that surrounds us by the thought of his successors. But that is not reason enough to bemoan his going. We must aim for higher ideals and not accept saviours like FL who do more harm than good.

So I bid thee farewell FL, I will miss your impotence as a military dictator, your not-so-brilliant moves in the face of adversity and most of all your biographies and hope that one day in the future you will write something else which can make people laugh and cry at the same time.

Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon

2008-07-28T05:26:00.003+01:00

Quite a few years ago, I chanced upon a book called the White Hotel, and right after that, read something else with a reference to the same. Thought it was a coincidence. Then these things started happening with irregular frequency, I would come across an
obscure/abstract concept, and then be in a situation where I would use that information very soon. Told some people about it, they always looked at me in a funny way.

So imagine my delight, when I came across the "Baader-Meinhof phenomenon" which occurs when a person, after having learned some (usually obscure) fact, word, phrase, or other item for the first time, encounters that item again, perhaps several times, shortly after having learned it. Thank you Stumble Upon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baader-Meinhof_Phenomenon

So I am not the only cuckoo in this nest.

I don't think there is anything magical about it. Probably something a bit hard to explain and the "recency" idea sort of does that.

I was wondering if anyone reading this has ever experienced something similar?

Time Travel

2008-07-10T07:49:00.002+01:00

The probability of time travel seems to be very very low. The reason I say that is because no one has ever come back from the future, and if humankind is capable of time travel, they would have returned to us in the present. And I don't see any credible evidence of that.

The same doesn't apply to evolved life forms in the rest of the universe, maybe they haven't found us yet. And maybe they aren't even looking. Having said that, I don't think we have ever been visited by aliens.

Just a thought!

The Gods vs. Stupidity

2008-03-29T13:01:00.004Z

Hmmm, I need to take a chill pill.

I overreact to statements like the following
"the theorey (sic) of evolution just remains a theorey (sic) after hundreds of years and has been rejected by so many scientists that its not even worth discussing."

I would have no issues with the writer saying that he rejects evolution or that his faith/religion does not accept evolution, but please don't use the term "scientists" to imply this has anything to do with science.

I know that there are bodies of science that are accepted as the authorities in those fields. I wish the writer can inform us as to which body of science has rejected evolution. Unless he is coming from a point where he is not a believer in science and must state that. Or that he subscribes to some other "science" and "scientists" that we are not familiar with.

The Royal Society says that evolution is "recognised as the best explanation for the development of life on Earth from its beginnings and for the diversity of species."
http://royalsociety.org/

The American Association for Advancement of Science says “evolution is one of the most robust and widely accepted principles of modern science.”
http://www.aaas.org/

The following are not my words, but describe very elegantly what a scientific theory is, and a bit about the theory of evolution

In science, a theory is a rigorously tested statement of general principles that explains observable and recorded aspects of the world. A scientific theory therefore describes a higher level of understanding that ties "facts" together. A scientific theory stands until proven wrong -- it is never proven correct. The Darwinian theory of evolution has withstood the test of time and thousands of scientific experiments; nothing has disproved it since Darwin first proposed it more than 150 years ago. Indeed, many scientific advances, in a range of scientific disciplines including physics, geology, chemistry, and molecular biology, have supported, refined, and expanded evolutionary theory far beyond anything Darwin could have imagined.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/library/faq/cat01.html#Q02

The Rough Road to the Truth

2008-03-28T05:03:00.005Z

Part 1. The Man from Galilei

Galileo Galilei is probably the father of modern science, at least thats what Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawkins thought. Born in the sixteenth century in Italy, he came from a learned family. Contemplated becoming a priest, then went to medical school, didn't finish and instead studied mathematics. He heard about the telescope that was invented in Amsterdam, and decided to make one of his own. He started by making a terrestrial telescope that he sold to merchants who would be on the lookout for their ships, and then decided to look upwards at the heavens.

What he saw in the sky was totally against everything that he had been taught. Ever since Aristotle, it was widely believed that we lived in a geocentric universe. This was a view shared and endorsed by the church because the scriptures said the same. The improvement in the telescope allowed Galileo to track the movements of the planets, which did not make sense if everything revolved around the earth. So he used Copernicus' mathematical model, which was tested against empirical evidence, movement of the planets i.e. and found to be correct.

Guess what happened when the church found out, they declared him a heretic and made him recant his theory on the pain of death. He was put under house arrest and spent his last years imprisoned. Long live the Inquisition!

As a man of science, Galileo formulated theories that have withstood the test of time. He used quantitative methods to prove his theories, is credited with the modern telescope, discovered the moons of Jupiter, improved the compass, among a long list of things. He was persecuted by the church for his heliocentric vision of our solar system, and in recent years the Vatican has apologized for being ignorant morons.

Part 2. The Man from Shrewsbury

Charles Darwin was born in the nineteenth century in England. From a family of wealthy parents, Darwin went to university to study medicine like his father. Medicine and surgery didn't hold his interest for long, and he started to spend his time studying natural history. Darwin Senior realized this and had Charles sent to Cambridge where he hoped young Charles would study theology and become an Anglican priest, a good way of earning a decent living. But it was not to be, Charles had more interest in collecting beetles and botany, and shooting and riding.

Darwin passed his exams, doing well in Theology, standing tenth in a class of 178. But did not take the vows of clergy and instead decided to accept an unpaid position of a naturalist aboard HMS Beagle which was to leave for a two year journey to South America to chart its coastline.

Over the next five years, Darwin observed and catalogued geological features, fossils, marine life and plants. He published "The Voyage of the Beagle" as a summary of the journals he wrote for his family, with his theories on anthropology, sociology and politics based on his interaction with the different people he saw and interacted with.

Darwin had become a noted naturalist by the time he arrived back in England. His meticulous documentation had earned him a reputation of a thoroughly methodical and rational naturalist. So after observations and studying and experimentation, Charles Darwin published "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection" in 1859.

No points for anyone who guesses what happened then. All hell broke loose. Man was supposed to have been created in his present form as described in the Scriptures. People with little or no understanding of what Mr. Darwin was saying, were told that his theory was that apes changed into man. Since the Anglican Church was threatened by this naturalist, no effort was spared to discredit him. How could the white man accept that he might be related to the black man of Africa?

And so it remains today. Evolutionary biology has found more evidence to support natural selection and evolution than anything else. Fossils have been found which confirm this theory. Yes there are missing links, but science accepts this theory until the time someone else can come up with a better one.

There may be a few people out there, who are only interested in rubbishing evolution because it goes against their deeply held beliefs. As a rule, evolution is a fact of life. The idiots in America who are preaching creationism have only one aim, how to safeguard their religious belief. Its not science and nothing to do with the scientific method.

I hope that I am not the only one who sees the parallels in the story of these two men. Both observed and noted empirical evidence, formulated a hypothesis, tested it against observable events, and put forth a theory. They were both saying things that went against the commonly held truths about the universe and our origins. The apologists in Christianity and Islam have tried to retrofit evolution into their stories of genesis. Most people still have no clue as to what evolution is, they are so insecure in their humanity, that the chance that they might be related to other mammals is beyond their puny little brains.

The church apologized for persecuting Galileo, but I don't think anyone will apologize to humanity for keeping them stupid. Ibn Al Haytham said that the road to truth is rough, and so it will be.

If wishes were horses...

2008-03-27T06:53:00.004Z

I wish I was as eloquent as some people that I have read and heard, but that would be the second step. The first would be to have the knowledge and the ideas, that in turn require articulation skills that allow for those ideas to be communicated to others.

Having said that, I would still like to try and say what I think. Hoping that it makes some sense to people, and in turn understand what they are trying to say.

At best, I am a pseudo-intellectual, lacking the necessary depth of knowledge in almost everything. So I try not to delve into things that I don't know everything about and keep my arguments simple, following the logic and rationale of a philosophical argument. I am a believer in Occam's Razor, the idea that "All other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best."

I am also a follower of the "Scientific Method", something which was very elegantly described by Ibn Al Haytham in the tenth century who said that "Truth is sought for its own sake. And those who are engaged upon the quest for anything for its own sake are not interested in other things. Finding the truth is difficult, and the road to it is rough."

In its simplest form, the scientific method consists of the following

1. Observation
2. Formulation of a hypothesis
3. Testing of the hypothesis
4. Confirmation or rejection of the hypothesis based on 3

The scientific method has served humanity well for the last thousand years. It does not necessarily find the ultimate truth, because with time and knowledge acquired using the scientific method, the complexity of our hypotheses and our testing capabilities grow. And today we might be talking about quantum physics rather than planetary orbits, because we can look inside an atom.

We have sent probes to Neptune, eradicated small pox, created so much pollution that it threatens to destroy our ecology, and it has all been done using science. Even for the things that aren't so great, the solution is still found using science.

Imagine my frustration when some other pseudo-intellectual like myself starts telling me that they know the ultimate truth, when there is none to be found. These are the same people who are reaping the benefits of the scientific method, their kids are vaccinated against diseases that were a scourge only a few centuries ago, their quality of life and expectancy improved greatly, again because of science and they have the audacity to pervert and equate science into some baseless superstition. I am sorry, but I will not sit back and let this happen without raising my voice against it.

The opposite of the scientific method is to take dogma as the truth, and try and fit empirical evidence into supporting their already arrived at theory. I have the following to say for my fellow pseudo-intellectuals who are on this shabby path, "Bugger Off" and keep your superstition to yourself. You are most welcome to live in your lala-land, stop getting vaccinated against evolving bacteria and viruses, since its just a theory, right? May the pox be on you!

The Continuing Chief Justice Saga

2008-03-05T10:12:00.003Z

I am going to stick to facts here, no speculation, no assumptions and no additions from my side.

Mr. Chaudhry was appointed the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Pakistan on May 7, 2005. On March 9, 2007, Mr. Chaudhry was suspended by the President of Pakistan and a reference was filed against him. The suspension was later converted into leave, when it was discovered that the constitution did not allow it. On July 20, 2007, Mr. Chaudhry was reinstated by the Supreme Court.

On November 3, 2007, the Chief of Army Staff (who also happened to be the President) declared a State of Emergency, suspending the constitution. During this state of emergency, the (now defunct) judiciary was replaced by Judges who were willing to take the oath under the Provisional Constitutional Order. Some refused and others were not invited to do so. Mr. Chaudhry was part of the latter group. So we had a new and improved (by virtue of the fresh oath) judges in the courts.

The emergency order was rescinded and the constitution restored on December 25, 2007, but all the deposed judges were still under house arrest. They were all removed from the Supreme Court by troops when the emergency was declared. That is the current status. With the exception of one Judge, the rest are all under house arrest.

Just before restoring the constitution, the COAS gave the President the powers to rescind the emergency. Meanwhile, the state of emergency meant that no government servant could be held accountable for what they did. Another interesting thing that was done was that it became legal to court martial a civilian. The significance of this has already been mentioned in another post.

The President then reinstated the constitution, the parliament endorsed the actions of the COAS making it legal after the fact. In an interesting move, the PPP, which was the opposition at the time, stayed away from the voting. So everything cleaned up, and a fresh start for everyone concerned.

Everyone except the former CJ and other Justices. They are still under house arrest, this is denied vehemently by the government everytime they are asked. So although they are not being detained by the government, they can't go anywhere. I don't know what else to call it.

Here are the options, charge them with some crime, take them to the courts, let justice prevail. All the judges are freshly oath-ed. I don't think it will take much to find all the deposed judges guilty of something or the other. The President has already mentioned that the morals of the erstwhile CJ were questionable. I am pretty sure, similar things can be discovered about all the rest too. But how can they be kept under detention without being charged?

So FL, don't get too upset when other people think of us as a banana republic. There is no law here, every law, every constitution can be amended to cater to personal taste. FL claims that the only illegal thing he has ever done is impose emergency, thank you very much, last time I checked, there weren't two strikes or one in this case, before you are declared out.

Ashes and Snow

2008-03-03T10:16:00.002Z

Ashes and Snow by Gregory Colbert

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I saw this a while back and it blew me away. I am trying to get a hold of the original dvd. Enjoy

You gotta love PTA

2008-02-26T05:39:00.004Z

Hats off to the technical wizards of PTCL, I just lurve them. Sometime last week, someone decided that youtube needs to be shut down, because of some content that endangers Islam or something like that. So the PTA issued notices to the ISPs to block access to youtube.

Apparently someone screwed up big time. According to a report by BBC, some brilliant person renamed the DNS entry of youtube to point at some other website. This entry was replicated by other DNS servers around the world and all mayhem ensued.

God I love these incompetent morons. Youtube was inaccessible for a couple of hours, Google screamed blue murder and now, Youtube is back, even to the guardians of Islam who aptly enough live in Islamabad. I hope Google sues PTA/PTCL/PCCW and takes them to the cleaners.

Keep dreaming.

Return of the Pink Panther

2008-02-26T04:56:00.003Z

The elections came and went. A few surprises there, but not as many as I would have liked. What was clear was that the King's Party was on its way out, the one thing that was not clear was as to who would replace them.

Whether the elections were rigged or not, we will have to live with the results, like we have in the past. I personally think that FL could have played smarter, for himself that is, by not shooting himself in the foot. Last elections got rid of the supporters of BB and NS, and the recent are responsible for the ouster of MMA, which is good news. I wish Sheeda Tully hadn't lost, but then, such is life.

So here it is, PPP has the highest number of seats, followed by PMLN. PPP had no agenda, they are there because the powers that be wanted them there. BB's assassination helped with the sympathy vote. PMLN and ANP are there because they are the replacements of MMA and PMLQ. The rest are just there. They will join the side that offers them more, or rather if the ruling coalition doesn't offer them what they are asking for, they will have no choice but to sit in the opposition.

PPP has made no promises, PMLN has a two point agenda, getting rid of FL and restoring the CJ. The former because it was left out in the cold and the latter because the Ameerul Momineen wannabe wants to atone for storming the supreme court many many moons ago.

I will go out on a limb and make a prediction. After defections galore, PPP will form a government with the motley crew from PMLQ and MQM and other freelancers. PMLN will be back in the opposition. A totally hung parliament suits everyone and their vested interests. FL will stay and the former CJ will remain erstwhile. And the show will go on.

I hope I am wrong.

Run by Amy Macdonald

2008-02-14T16:42:00.004Z

Post Script

2008-02-12T05:18:00.001Z

I am attending a creative writing workshop being conducted by Kamila Shamsie on Saturday. I will get my book signed.

Kamila Shamsie - Broken Verses

2008-02-11T08:37:00.001Z

When it comes to writing a story set in Karachi, the challenge is always how to keep it real, because of the fact that the dialogue can be in English, translated from Urdu, or a mixture of both Urdu and English, which is how we normally speak. The challenge part is for me, the reader, not for the writer. For the first time, I felt as if Kamila broke that barrier for me, this book felt natural. The language her characters spoke was how I hear people talk.

The book is an excellent read, part thriller/detective story, part social commentary, political history, and most of all a love story. But there is no one love story, its about the love of a daughter for a mother, a man for a woman, etc. etc. I can find lots of metaphors, but I am sure they are mostly the creation of my mind and not necessarily that of Kamila.

This is the story of Aasmani Inqilab, daughter of a leading woman rights activist, with the father figure of a poet, who is simply called that. The Poet is killed, and the mother disappears and it has been fourteen years since the latter. Aasmani hasn't accepted the loss of her mother and the story begins with her starting work at a tv station after giving up her job at an oil company.

The setting in Karachi is very real, the dialogue is very real, and the story moves at a pace which keeps one glued to the book. It generally takes me longer to finish books, with work and other commitments, but this one I finished quickly.

And yes, I will read it again, my litmus test of books that I like.

PS. The reason why my reviews are cryptic is that I don't want to give anything away about the story for anyone who might want to read the book.

Charlie Wilson's War Part Two

2008-02-06T06:29:00.001Z

I have seen the movie.

Very nicely done, I would give all credit to Tom Hanks, who has done a brilliant job in making this movie funny and watchable. Philip Seymour Hoffman and Julia Roberts have also played their parts well. I am sure Aaron Sorkin is responsible for how conversation keeps flowing and there is never a dull moment.

Its like a western, the good guys vs. the big bad commie bastards. The cavalry arriving just in time to fight off the Indians and save the poor helpless innocents.

I would end my review right there, if it weren't for the fact that this is supposed to be true. Well, I am sure it is based on facts, but it is a very limited view. The film portrays the big bad American government vs. the big bad Soviets, while the hero is a good times congressman from Texas, so at the end, although the hero tries to do the right thing, his efforts are thwarted by his own people.

I say rubbish to that. Charlie Wilson cannot be let off the hook so easily. He cannot be absolved of his responsibility, if he did all the things he has claimed to have done. As a next step, I am reading the book. Will be back later with my comments.

The movie is a must see, especially for Pakistanis, it is funny and well made. 8 out of ten.

The Geometry of God by Uzma Aslam Khan

2008-02-06T05:29:00.001Z

Time for a book review, more to follow, two more books that I am reading these days.

I had heard about Uzma's earlier books and promptly forgotten about them. It was only when I found out that she was going to read from her book at The Second Floor that I read up on her and attended the recital. I think I was intrigued by her writings in various newspapers and wanted to hear more of what she had to say. So I gathered a few friends and arrived at the venue.

Before this turns into a review of TSF, which is bound to follow, I would say this, I like The Second Floor and would like to keep visiting the place and attend the various things they do.

Uzma signed my copy, and we chit chatted for a few minutes, she thought I was just there to get the book signed and leave, but being unfamiliar with the etiquette of book signings (since this was my first one), I wasn't sure when that would happen. So anyway, she read a few selected pages from the book. Maybe it was the crowd, that didn't pick up on the humour in some parts, or maybe the crowd was as inexperienced as I was with these things, the reading was a bit tedious. There were a few questions at the end, regarding the fact that the book was published in India and not Pakistan, and about some of the characters. Nothing too exciting.

Note to self: I will have read the book before going to the next recital so that I can enjoy it more.

Now on to the book. It wasn't an easy read. I am suddenly seeing all these books by people who grew up during the Zia years like I did. While I was happily oblivious to everything that went on around me, and only finding out now how bad it really was, and also because we are reaping what we had sown all those years ago, it seems like an awakening of sorts.

The Geometry of God is about a lot of things. It has an underlying and mostly dormant identity crisis, of being different from an ethnic as well as gender perspective. Both of these were pushed to the forefront in the eighties, the creation of an ethnicity based political movement and not to forget, the Islamization by Zia, which meant side lining women by the famous Hadood Ordinance, for example.

The other thing is about how the system of education was affected during this time. This included how history was taught, how Islamiat was changed to fit with the then current requirements of believing in Jihad. This served another purpose, to help with the Jihad happening next doors in Afghanistan. Most importantly, this book talks about evolution and tries to bring the evolution vs. creation debate to us.

In this last thing, Uzma doesn't fare too well. Her protagonist Zahoor is too mild mannered a man to be a zealot about anything. He belongs to an almost extinct breed of people who were able to deal with science and philosophy without conflict. The kind of people who I wish we had more of. Even Amal, the main character, is not a fundamentalist scientist. They suffer in silence, while the world around them crumbles. Thats what real life is like, I suppose.

Nobody takes Zahoor seriously, and even when Amal makes the all important discovery, it really doesn't change anything. It is only because the "Creation Party" and Noman need someone to oppose, that Zahoor gets caught in this cultural revolution. Which can never be a good thing.

So the book could be a political comment as well.

All in all, good read.

Charlie Wilson's War

2008-01-31T09:23:00.002Z

This one I want to see. How the CIA and American government set up the Mujahideen, a precursor to the Taliban and Al Qaeda. Should read the book as well.

Things to do List

2008-01-29T07:45:00.002Z

I have decided to put together a list of things that I would like to dream about doing before I die, it will be a work in progress, hopefully changing all the time, removing some things that I will actually do, and others that I will dream about (not in any particular order, just as I think of it)

1. Visit Antarctica
2. Watch the aurora
3. Low level orbit of the earth
4. K2 base camp
5. Run a marathon
6. Deep sea diving, coral reef maybe
7. Alaska
8. Learn to fly a plane
9. Hot air ballooning
10. Bungee jumping
11. Para jumping

Hmmm, some of these are easily doable. More coming up

I told you so

2008-01-22T15:10:00.001Z

No country for old men nominated for 8 oscars. I told you so....

No Country for Old Men

2008-01-20T09:17:00.001Z

I haven't seen all of Coen Brothers' movies, didn't like some of them, and loved the rest. This movie just blew me away. I was lucky to have seen it without any pre-conceived bias, had no clue what it was about. Flipping through the video-on-demand menu, I just clicked on it. The title wasn't alluring, I will give you that.

The scenery grabs your attention with the wide open vistas of the American southwest. And then the music, or rather the lack of it (I subsequently read that there was only about sixteen minutes worth in the film). Made in the best of film noir tradition, it does not disappoint. Some things are incredible, but it never insults your intelligence.

You will either hate it or love it, but you won't be indifferent. And I will end my review right there.

Enjoy!

Long live the Queen!

2007-12-31T06:02:00.001Z

The Queen is dead, long live the Queen!

As the country limps back to normalcy, or whatever is considered normal in these parts, I sit back and ponder. I read and hear what the world has to say and can't believe my eyes and ears. The queen of democracy has named her heir, who has no other qualification save the fact that he is her son, and this somehow is supposed to confirm her position as the flag bearer of democracy. Does anyone else see the irony here?

Loss of human life is always tragic, and an end like this, which lesser mortals like me will never find out the truth about, have an impact which goes beyond the usual sorrow associated with end of a human life. The part where anyone's life can be taken, Gulgee and his wife were murdered in their home last week, and we will probably never find out why. So be it.

When BB came into power in 1988, I was positively biased in her favour. Because she was an educated woman, who had struggled against dictatorship, who was not standing from a platform based on a dogma, she seemed like someone who would at least point us in the right direction. But that was not to be. During her two stints of power, she was either not competent or did not have the right motives, and we gained nothing. She did not do anything for the people of this country. The only thing that she left us with was a bad taste in the mouth, with unconfirmed accusations of plunder and corruption.

Her only motive, or so it seems, was to get power. With no scruples, she would make any deal, with anyone, to get that. Her only legacy is a continuation of the feudal mindset where her last name is more important than anything else. But if we go by that, there is someone more qualified, her niece. Even there, she does not follow her own rules. And her son, will now change his surname, to continue.

I am surprised by the rest of the world, either they know something that we don't, or they are really ignorant of the realities. Suddenly she is now the epitome of everything they stand for. I have not been impressed by anything she had to say, or anything she did. It was all a show, her only qualification was that she was the daughter of Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto, and we the serfs should prostrate before all our feudal lords.

People draw parallels between her and the Nehru family, they have all come to violent ends. And then there are the Bushes in the holy land, who would like to follow a similar path. I say the pox on them all.

I am sorry that her life ended the way it did, it should not have. I hope that her son does not follow the same path that she did, but that depends on the rest of us. I pray that we choose our leaders on things other than their last names.

Back to square one

2007-12-13T05:07:00.001Z

This one is dedicated to my friend Faran.

The argument that is frequently brought up by many people while defending religion is that its the people who practice it that are to be blamed rather than the dogma they follow. I feel that is a total cop out.

Lets try out the reverse. Lets say we start appreciating people for doing good deeds rather than the religion they follow. So every welfare act that is done by the missionaries, be it Muslim/Christian/Hindu/Buddhist/etc. should be attributed to the individuals rather than the platform that is being used for those good things. They open up schools, hospitals, feed the poor because they are good people, not because of their faith. Religion becomes irrelevant. The point being if religion is incapable of turning society into a better place, then what is the point of it anyway?

The Muslims of Saudi Arabia punish a women for being alone with a man after she is gang raped by a group of men. So what if Islam's injunction is used to justify this punishment? Is it the followers or Islam? A Pakistani Muslim man strangles his daughter for not wanting to wear the hijab in Canada. What is to be blamed here? The fact that Islam/some school of thought believes that women should wear hijab or the man who can actually strangle his own flesh and blood because of what he believes in? Where does one draw the line?

I don't think the argument holds any substance, as I said earlier, its a cop out. For those who haven't heard of Epicurus, here is something that he wrote a long time ago

Is god willing to prevent evil, but not able, then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing, then he is malevolent.
Is he both willing and able, the whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing, then why call him god?

And so society struggles. The problem with the monotheistic religions as I see it is their refusal to change with times. There are no absolute truths, its all relative my dear Faran.

Amnesia or Denial?

2007-11-29T06:46:00.001Z

The peasants are rejoicing once again. The great saviours of the past and present are all here now.

The most recent saviour has had to give up his magic wand and is not the master wizard anymore. But before he took that drastic step, only in order to perpetuate his self proclaimed status, he has built a wall around him. And thinks, wrongly, that making himself legitimate and giving himself powers, will secure his position. What he doesn't realize is that this will only force his opponents to resort to something above and beyond the legal framework. Something he should know, since he has been doing the same.

In the meanwhile, two new old saviours have arrived. Claiming persecution and unfair play, they want to convince people that the very things they helped destroy, are the things that they want to save. The not so newly hirsute caliph-wannabe had his party storm the supreme court. There was no freedom of the media. The progeny of the east appointed hand picked judges and does not and can not stand any dissent from anywhere. Chairperson for life, that is what her title is. And these clowns are now the champions of democracy?

I am not a fan of the great wizard. And I still don't think he will amount to much. What I am concerned with is that how people are eagerly lapping up the hogwash dished out by all. Are we in denial? Or do we suffer from memory loss? Have we forgotten how we have rejoiced every time someone gets kicked off the throne?

As I have concluded earlier, this is a big farce being played out for public consumption at large. In other parts of the country, the army is killing as many militants in Swat as NATO forces are in Afghanistan. TWAT (The War Against Terrorism) rages on. Some people say that the situation is no different than East Pakistan. There is no solution but brute force. I wish I knew the answer. When the state is incapable of enforcing its writ, or ignores the flouting of law, for its own vested interest, it has to come to a boil. How is this different from Kashmir? Where we say the locals are not allowed to live the way they want to and the state is using force to quell their discontent. Where does one draw the line?

There are more questions than there are answers. No short term solutions here. Long terms solutions require people with vision and the courage of their convictions. Our saviours have none of those things. So maybe this numbing of senses or self induced amnesia is the only way out.

Anastasio Somoza Garcia

2007-11-12T07:20:00.001Z

Somoza was the dictator ruler of Nicaragua from 1936 to 1956, when he was assassinated. A nice 20 year run, where with the assistance of US, he centralized all the powers in his hands and everyone lived happily ever after.

Roosevelt is supposed to have said "Somoza may be a son of a bitch, but he is our son of a bitch". This has been denied and no official record has been found to support the claim that Roosevelt said anything of the kind. The sentiment behind this has been consistent, and the US has fostered people like Somoza all over the world. The list includes Shah of Iran, Noriega, Zia ul Haq, etc. etc.

This expression was used by three journalists of the Daily Telegraph in their report about Pakistan and its dictator, after which they were kicked out of the country. The President of Pakistan wants them to apologize. They should not have called him a son of a bitch, but a puppet dictator of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. I think that would have gone down better.

In the meanwhile, civilians can now be tried under a court-martial. This is by presidential decree which is retrospective starting from 2003. Takes care of all the beardos we shipped out to Camp X-ray and other places.

Brilliant, I just hope dictators read history, even if they don't like called being sons of bitches.

Total Bollocks!

2007-11-10T06:01:00.001Z

I have to say a few things, and what better title than the above. So hear me out

1. Media
Media is rubbish. I came to this sorry conclusion after getting all worked up about all kinds of things, only to find out that the media, like most everyone else, has vested interests and does not always tell the whole story. So it is almost impossible to get the facts from it.
Having said that, they still have a right to publish and broadcast all the rubbish they can think of, it is up to the recipient to figure out what makes sense, if any.

2. State of Emergency
The following is something that should make everyone's hair stand: During the state of emergency, no state servant, from the lowest policeman to the prez can be held accountable. They can do whatever they please. Viva la banana! This is how it should be, unfettered democracy and screw the courts and constitution and that rubbish.

3. Conspiracy Theories
Damn the conspiracy and counter-conspiracy theories. I have heard them all. The deals and non-deals, the moles and the inside jobs. Screw them all. There is no universal conspiracy, they don't have the brains for it. And the mini conspiracies are of no significant consequence anyway.

4. The bottom-line
Its all about power and money, the rest are just details. Be it the mullahs or the progeny of the east, they are all after power which allows them to make more money which brings them more power to do as they please. There are no ulterior motives here.

5. The students
I was very pleasantly surprised to read and hear that students of LUMS, FAST, etc. have decided to voice dissent. Although this happened only because two of their professors were picked up by our "cannot be held accountable law enforcement agencies", even then it is a good sign. I remember bemoaning this fact in one of my earlier posts, so thats the only positive that has come out of this.

I don't know whats going to happen next, the only constant here is entropy in our state, which will only grow.

Let the festivities begin

2007-11-05T06:50:00.001Z

I hereby thank all the gods that I don't believe in and I declare that all peasants rejoice. For once again, the gods have stepped in, in the form of a military person albeit surrounded by the usual suspects, to save this country and nation from the greatest disaster. I kowtow to them all. And can't help but wonder if it weren't for their timely intervention, this country would have been destroyed many times over in the last 60 years. They have saved us at least four times.

I will make sacrifices, maybe a virgin or two, or a few animals, or whatever it is that the gods like these days. I wish we could be like the Chinese and burn fake paper money and be done with it. The Chinese gods are not really up to speed with fake currency detection, so monopoly money works. The latest god likes animals, maybe we can sacrifice a virtual goat or something.

But before I get carried away with the whole sacrifice ritual, let me tell you what makes me really happy. The fundamentalists of all flavours want us to go back to the time of whenever they launched their roadshows. The way that we are being saved every few years by the gods, it is reminiscent of those wonderful ages. So the fundamentalists can join in the celebrations. We welcome all kinds.

Since I cannot write anything about FL, I will desist. I don't want to spend three years in jail, that being the penalty for writing anything against him. My only plaintive wish is that he do something about the things he is complaining against. The question that comes to mind is that if things are so screwed up, who was in-charge? That is a rhetorical question.

I have no hope for us, so let the festivities begin.

Politicking

2007-08-08T12:45:00.000+01:00

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark and it stinks.

Ok, I mean the Islamic Republic of Pakistan and all this wheeling dealing and denials galore. The only constant in this chaos is that FL will remain the supreme commander and lord of all things. Everything else is up for grabs or is it?

My problem is that the outcome of the elections is somehow dependent on the "deal" between FL and whoever else. Which means either of two things

1. FL is so good at his hocus-pocus that whoever he chooses to be his allies, the people vote for them.
2. Elections are a farce.

I am inclined to believe in the latter. The former defies common sense, logic, probability and everything else that I can think of. So screw the notion of the electorate and adult franchise, what we have is something so far removed from these ideas, I wonder how anyone can confuse the two. Unfortunately for us, it is a common thing in certain parts of the world, so we can't even claim to be original. This stems from incompetence, corruption, greed and lust for perpetual power.

My unsolicited advice to FL and anyone else who wants to listen is to do away with this farce. Lets get out of the denial phase, lets call a spade a spade. Yes we have a general dictator, everything we do or not do is based on his whims and his not-so-brilliant advisers ideas, we try our best to fool the rest of the world, but I don't think anyone is fooled. Everyone else but us knows the truth, they pretend not to for their own vested interests or lack thereof.

Lets announce our status as the first real banana republic of the world and be proud of it. Lets us be recognized for what we really are. The latest BBC documentary, in line with enlightened moderation, focuses on the transvestites and drugged mystics of Pakistan. Maybe thats what we are really good at, so forget the illusion and live the reality.

Viva La Banana!!

The Red Brigade aka Lal Masjid Pograam

2007-07-04T10:21:00.000+01:00

Sorry about the cheesy title.

I have been trying to make some sense of whats been happening in Islamabad with conflicting thoughts and theories put forward by different people and on why the government is letting these people get away with their shenanigans and now I have a theory.

The only thing everyone was sure of was that there was no way this was going to end on a good note. Regardless of whether this was being staged by the government to highlight their importance as the only guardians against the very real danger of talibanisation or fear of reprisals in the year of the elections added to the whole reaction against the sacking of the Chief Justice, it was going to blow up sooner or later. The other theory I pondered upon was that the powers that be were being advised by morons and making the wrong decisions like they usually do.

With all that in mind, and knowing that it could be a combination of all of the above, I think I have finally figured out what the government is trying to do. One word (or is it two)

Al Arqam

For the benefit of those who don't know, Darul Arqam was a sect or a movement in the Far East, based out of Malaysia but with a large following in Indonesia, Thailand and Malaysia. The founder Ashaari Muhammad, claimed to be Imam Mehdi (Big Surprise!). This gentleman made the usual sounds about reforming Islam and the world etc. and also said he would rule Malaysia one day. The latter, added to the usual threat of suicide bombers and implementation of Shariah all over the place, was something that the Malaysian government was not going to take sitting down. So Al Arqam was banned, government employees were ordered to leave the sect or face disciplinary action. The crackdown began, people were arrested, funds frozen, and it all fizzled out.

Lal Masjid is not Al Arqam. What started out as a plan to hold on to illegally occupied land has grown much beyond the capacity or the ambition of its leaders (they probably don't think that way). Thanks to the Zia years, they were given free rein to do as they pleased, since the madrassas were creating the cannon fodder for the proxy war being fought in Afghanistan. The rest we all know, Chechneya, Bosnia and Kashmir. With the pressure to shut them down in Kashmir, they have nowhere to go and now they have turned their attention to vigilantism, an outlet for all their pent up anger based on their versions of religion and morality. They are well armed, disciplined to a certain extent and are taught to obey orders blindly, something that was needed to do what they were programmed to.

Pakistani government has failed miserably in forcibly weeding out talibanisation in Waziristan and all along the Afghan border. They finally resorted to making a deal with them which just means that the army won't meddle with their affairs. The difference between that and Lal Masjid is the fact that Waziristan is being looked after by the war on terror as well. So every few days, NATO bombs and kills a few people, and the government makes a noise and thats the end of it. If only NATO would come and deal with Lal Masjid, but that was not to be.

So here is the plan, wait till Lal Masjid becomes a major issue (like the Al Arqam), wait for them to make the first move (not that important since there will always be conflicting stories of who fired the first shot) and then take care of it. If the government had done this when it started, do you think the world would know about it? They could have solved this flouting of the law by removing "chicks with sticks" from the premises, putting a new cleric in charge, and that would have been the end of that. This is much better, Lal Masjid has been in the headlines for the last few months, now everyone knows and the government can claim their victory.

FL has recently played Good Cop/Bad Cop by himself with the whole PEMRA ordinance. Now this is Incompetent Cop/Efficient Cop. Brilliant, as usual!!

Unfortunately the "best laid plans of mice and men" often go awry. Lets see how this unfolds. Last I heard, there was a curfew around the Lal Masjid, and the deadline for amnesty had passed. Islamabad is turning into Karachi, so Islooites, welcome to the club!

Pakistan Zindabad!

2007-06-14T11:15:00.000+01:00

There is one event in Pakistan every year, that makes me think the same thing every time. This event is the annual budget that is presented in front of the national assembly and usually telecast live. I haven't been bothered to see it for a very very long time. The reason I bring that up is that the first time I watched this event on the telly was when there was a ruckus by the opposition while it was being presented. For somebody who grew up in the years of Zia, dissent on television was unheard of, so it had novelty.

Anyway, the budget of the country was presented again a few days ago. Please forgive the capriciousness of this post, I will keep going off on tangents. I wonder what qualifies the gentleman that we have as the current Minister of Finance other than the fact that his last couple of names are the same as an erstwhile dictator. He did get an MBA from GW. But that is a slippery slope, lets not go there. He was the only one available with a bachelor's degree at the time of elections in that part of motherland.

Lets not worry about the droopy mustache for now, and get back to the budget. As long as I can remember, the response to the budget is always the same. The people in power proclaim it as the best thing that ever happened, and the opposition thinks the opposite. I am ashamed to say that despite having a dubious degree in Economics, I have no idea what drives economies and finances. It always makes me wonder why there aren't any qualified people out there who can objectively look at the budget and point out its strengths and weaknesses. Or maybe it is always left vague with wishful thinking, so everyone can go back to whatever they were doing right before it happened.

That was the premise of this post. I don't know anything about economics but when I hear about how well Pakistan's economy is doing by FL and Shortcut and everyone else, I get confused. The reasons for my confusion are as follows

We have a serious shortage of power. The whole country is going nuts at this point with blackouts and "load-shedding"
State Bank is saying that we haven't been able to meet our targets in terms of inflation
We have foreign reserves of 15 billion dollars, cant we spend some of that money to generate power for our "exploding" economy?

There, I just went ahead and displayed my total lack of understanding of how money works. Maybe this is just a ploy by FL to make everyone understand why we need to build Kalabagh Dam. That's probably it.

I am so glad that the minister for tourism has been sent packing, albeit for all the wrong reasons. I wonder if two wrongs make a right. I am pretty sure they don't. This lady was the epitome of unquestioning loyalty to her masters and paid the price for it. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't also believe in whatever she did. Totally validates my lack of faith in my fellow human beings. Her replacement is better looking...

I am sitting here looking out my window and its raining, the temperature is about 12 degrees and I wish that all summers are like this. I will miss the weather, but the load-shedding beckons.

Films in languages that I don't understand

2007-06-14T10:36:00.000+01:00

I recently went to the theatre to watch a film called Dans Paris. It wasn't an attempt to be more "culchaah'ed" than I really am (because I am very much so), the experience of watching a film in a language that I don't understand is like visiting a foreign country. A few months earlier, I went to watch Das Leben der Anderen (The Lives of Others), which was not only in German, but also set in the 80's in East Germany. Brilliant movie, if I may say so.

I an going off on a tangent here, please bear with me.

I saw the latter twice, the interesting part was that the sub-titles were different. The subtle, and in places not-so-subtle, differences changed the whole essence of the movie. At least for me. So I deduce from this the fact that my forays in foreign unknown language films will always be influenced by who is writing the sub-titles. And more importantly, I should only watch the movie only once or that if I choose to watch it over and over again, I should stick to the same version. Either that, or I learn the language enough to understand it. Or then again, my understanding of something will always be subjective and change, regardless of the language it is written in.

Back to Dans Paris. I loved it. It was like visiting France for me, or any other planet for that matter. My life is insular at best, having lived in three different continents, I don't think I have experienced life outside of me. I exist within my head and its only with literature or film, that I get a glimpse of what life is like for others. Its not something that I am proud of, that's just how it is.

So this excursion into an unfamiliar society was exciting and a part of me grudgingly accepted or saw the reason why some people like watching Indian films. Its an alternative reality and the reason why I can't be bothered to watch an Indian film is because I cannot make it believable for me. Regardless of whether there are any Parisians who live like the ones in Dans Paris, I can believe that they do.

I will miss the cinema when I go back home.

Pink Panther Strikes Again

2007-03-16T08:15:00.000Z

When it comes to being a fumbling idiot, Inspector Clouseau can only come in a distant second to our very own FL. I don't know how many times I have said this, but with every new bold step taken by FL, I assume that he cannot and will not be able to rise much higher in his esteemed position of being the biggest idiot around.

As you might infer, I am referring to the sacking of the Chief Justice. The judgement of the SJC is a foregone conclusion, the (non-functional) CJ will be sent packing, and we will have a new non-descript person in his place, who will not dare to question the holy writ of FL and his government.

I think people have already commented on the obvious things here, I am not arguing about whether the NFCJ is guilty of the allegations (as eloquently worded by Mr. Naeem Bokhari (the less said about him, the better)) (dang it, too many parenthesis there), I just wonder if people can be so bereft of basic common sense. Let me explain

One of the allegations against the NFCJ is that although his son scored 16/100 on the English exam, he was able to join the Police force, because of his father's position. Now if I were to use my influence to do something like that, I would need to change those numbers, since if I have failed an exam, I wouldn't be able to meet the requirements for getting in. So I first change that to 92/100 and then proceed. This reminds me of the guy who was NABbed and as evidence a bribe "cheque" was found in his desk.

The funny thing is that nobody is alleging that NFCJ was not delivering as the CJ, nobody is questioning his verdicts or actions from his office. So I must assume that he was doing something right. While not condoning his using government aircraft, I wonder that in itself could potentially leave our government without a single senior officer, starting from the very top.

It is funny, but when I look at my ramblings, I find that a lot of it comes from the decisions or matters in front of the Supreme Court, starting from MM and the whole kite-flying drama. As far as I know, this man had the gall to defy the government, and just because of that, I feel that he can't have been that bad.

I try and fool the gods and tell myself that this too shall pass without making any difference to the powers that be. It will be business as usual, FL will either hold the elections or he will not, he will get elected by the present assemblies or he will not, Shortcut will be the new PM or he will not, these things are irrelevant. People like the Information Minister will tell lies on public television, the English language challenged law minister and his family will either beat up or threaten people and get away with it and so on and so forth. I just feel sorry for the disappeared people, whose families had a glimmer of hope when the SC ordered the "agencies" to find out where they were, and the 4000 or so trees of Murree who won't have a friend anymore.

The New Blood Sport

2007-02-24T11:01:00.000Z

This is in continuation of my earlier posts about FL's Enlightened Moderation vis-à-vis Basant celebrations and kite flying. I sometimes wonder if it is just us (the dwellers of the land of the pure) or are there other denizens of the planet that do things that defy all logic and common sense. Living away from the pure land, I run into quite a few interesting stories which are about the "others" but trust me when I say this, the interesting stories here generally are about fellow beings who are from our part of the world.

But I digress, lets get back to the topic. This year, the same as last year, the legal battle started early. FL's team of whiz kids had planned well ahead of time. The first monumental thing was launch of Visit Pakistan Year, by none other than my other favourite person in our government, Ms. Nilofer Bakhtiar, the Federal Minister for Tourism. You might remember that this protege was responsible for the whole Mukhtaran Mai fiasco as the Special Advisor for Women's Affairs. After making a sordid mess of that, she has been given the responsibility for making Pakistan a tourist haven. I don't think my mind is capable of even imagining the kind of asinine things Ms. Bakhtiar will come up with to make this a success. The good thing is that aside from spending lots of money, she has kept her mouth shut. I hope it stays that way.

So the usual lackeys approached the Supreme Court to get the ban lifted on kite flying for the celebration of Basant. I am sure that after "lots" of deliberation, the SC decided that it would be ok to fly kites. The last few weeks have seen a lot of news items regarding this tough decision, and then viola!! We are all set for Basant, celebrating the coming of spring, in the best enlightened way possible. The Mullahs wept, since this is the only battle they have been consistently losing. But in light of their recent victory, where they got away with re-building of mosques and madrassas that were demolished by CDA, because they were deemed unIslamic, by baton and stone wielding sisters in burqas, I feel they didn't really care much for this defeat.

It is reported that 1,100 kite manufacturers were registered by the Lahore city government. And they have been selling kites and associated items with wild abandon. All for the two days in the year, when kite flying is allowed in the land of the pure.

Today is the day, when it all begins. I am wondering why or how three people have already died (Daily Dawn) because of kite related incidents, since it wasn't even supposed to start till today. So forget about all other types of blood sport, Kite Flying is the new age thing, the sport that kills more than any other, only when it is practiced two days in the year. I wonder how many will die if its allowed for more than this. So in conclusion, it is the ultimate wisdom of our judiciary that shines through in these dreary and murky times, a few lives is a small price to pay to further our just cause.

The Strangest Bedfellows

2006-12-06T13:00:00.000Z

While Unatees were having their own existential dilemma, the world kept moving on, and especially the interesting things in the land of the pure

1. WPB and MMA
I love the fact that we have so many abbreviations, I wish we would start making some acronyms as well, like MMA could be called MUMMA, and JUI JUPPHI or something.

Anyway, although the WBP is a lame legislation, it has cornered MUMMA, and they are damned if they resign and damned if they don’t. I don’t think they will. Although it will be interesting to watch how they wiggle out of this one. I think the mumbling idiot will help, who by the way, also promised to resign if the bill was found to be against the religion. Well, a lot of them have found it to be against the basis dictates of religion. So here is my wish, the lot of them resign and then are shipped off to Van Diemen’s Land, or whatever stands for Kala Pani these days.

2. Chavez
The guy won the elections, I am not sure what to believe, since there are so many conflicting reports about Mr. Chavez. Although the mere fact that he is standing up against the bullies, should give him some credibility. And that he is actually doing something for his country, like re-negotiating royalties for foreign oil companies, so that his country gets more money, is a good sign.

3. Emergency Brakes in Pakistan Railways Trains
Mr. Tully, please take note. Somebody was complaining that the emergency brakes don’t work in our trains. This guy had an "emergency", he left his luggage on the platform and the train started moving, he pulled on the things and nothing happened. I would think that if the emergencies are going to be of this nature, it is better that the brakes don’t work.

4. Rummy and Bolton
I think the news that both these men are out of the office is the best news I have heard in a long time. Not that it will change anything soon, but its a good sign. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

5. UK Police
The armed section of the police shot dead another man a few weeks back. This was the same team that shot the innocent Brazilian guy last year. Guess how many people had the Police shot and killed this year?

The answer is ONE. Wow!! And we think our police are incompetent. These guys can’t even shoot straight.

(For people who might mistake this for something else, it is sarcasm)

6. Banking in the UK
For people intending to open bank accounts in the UK, one word of advice, DONT. It’s been two months, and they haven’t been able to get me a debit card with a PIN number. I am slightly luckier than my wife, whose correspondence from the bank goes to Pakistan. Doesn’t get any stupider than that.

7. Internal and External Consumption
I read about three different version of what FL has said about the Kashmir issue, the Yahoo headline said that Pakistan willing to give up claim on Kashmir, if India does the same. While on Pakistani sites it was a different story. I wonder which one is the correct version, most probably they are all correct, one statement for domestic use, the other for the rest of the world.

8. Politics
I have come to this unhappy conclusion, that there is no room for idealism in politics, the way that it is played out in the world today. Unless one is willing to take everyone on, there is no way to stick to ideals. So I guess I will not ever be or can be a politician, even a bad one.

Imagine, FL inviting BB back to get PPP in power, and Imran Khan meeting with the newly hirsute Shareef brothers as a sign of the new alliances to come. Good luck to us all!!

Viva La MMA

2006-05-04T05:33:00.000+01:00

I think this one has me convinced, come next elections, I am going to vote for MMA, which stands for Mullah Military Alliance or Mullahs Mullahs Andmoremullahs.

Story

Apparently in the last Senate elections, some MMA representatives did not vote for their party's candidate. This was allegedly done because they were paid off by the other party. So the central committee decides to kick these guys out of the party and sends resignations on their behalf to the speaker of the assembly, who dutifully accepts, being a member of the same party.
One of the distinguished gentlemen in question hits back, saying that first he hasn't resigned and will contest this in court, and second and more importantly, saying that he had made an oath by virtue of which his marriage stands annulled, if he violated the party's discipline. I don't know how that proves his innocence, but thats his defence.

This is brilliant, the logic is flawless. Maybe this is representative of Islam and how it's practiced by the torch bearers of religion in our country. Everyone who is a citizen of this land of the pure should be made to sign a legal declaration, saying that if they break any laws, their marriages will be annulled. That's punishment enough. Imagine the financial ramifications of this, the married women of this country will be jumping with joy, getting their alimony which on average is about a thousand rupees to live lavishly for the rest of their lives.

The only problem I see is how the women will be punished, but I suppose that's only a temporary problem, once MMA comes into power all the ladies will be sent home. God forbid if women were punished along the same lines. The nikah nama has an option which allows the woman to ask for divorce, whereas the man's right to divorce is assumed without question. Generally, the woman is not allowed that option.

Incidentally, two women MPAs were sent home earlier for the same reasons, but there was no mention of their nikah's status.

Reminds me of the time when man landed on the moon, the mullah in the local mosque declared that if anyone believed in that hogwash, their nikahs would be rendered void. Good to see that some things will never change.

I wonder what FL is thinking right now. He is trying really hard to project his "soft" image. An interview with the first family is making the circuit these days (Shortcut Aziz obviously knows his place in the food chain). Maybe this is all FL's doing. He is making sure that the world knows what the MMA stands for, and pulling out the one M from their alias. Which in turn allows him to keep the M under his control. I don't rightly know. All I do know is that come next elections, I will vote for MMA or just the MA, since they are the only people who have it totally figured out.

The Kite Flyers aka The Lotus Eaters

2006-03-02T06:32:00.000Z

Lord Tennyson writes about the fabulous Lotus Eaters, who live on the north coast of Africa, a people that lived on the lotus which brought about happy abandonment. I wish our people would start eating the lotus as well, since they are in a constant state of abandonment as well, which unfortunately is not happy, to say the least.

The whole kite flying issue is representative of our national psyche. Here are the details, a few months ago, the Supreme Court decides that kite flying is bad for the nation and a ban was imposed on kite flying. Which in effect meant that it was illegal to manufacture kites and related stuff, as well as flying them. Suddenly somebody realized that Basant was approaching, and if we didn't celebrate that with the usual kite flying, it would spoil the whole deal. Suddenly Supreme Court says that it will be ok to fly kites for two weeks.

This is so typical of the powers that be in our land of the pure. I have the following questions

1. If kite flying is so bad, that the Supreme Court had to step in to declare it illegal, allowing it for two weeks isn't so bad? So its not the kite flying, but how long are you allowed to fly kites before it starts having the effect. And in their infinite wisdom, that period is two weeks.

2. Where does it end? This process of the judiciary stepping in to tell us what is right or wrong. What are the legislative assemblies for? They are either not representative of the people, and if they are, legislating this sort of morality is not going to last very long.

There was a little girl that died because she got in the way of a kite string, a terrible thing to happen. But instead of outlawing dangerous kite strings, we decide to put an end to kite flying. So far so good, but why this two week relaxation? The poor father has approached the court, asking the same question. Lets see what the court has to say.

So what's the solution? I think in a reasonably law abiding society, prohibiting dangerous items and only allowing people to fly kites in a designated area would work. But for us, where breaking the law is sign of stature, it won't. The implementation of the law is another thing altogether, and our law enforcement agencies are exactly the opposite of what their name suggests. They are there for the pleasure of the people in office.

Singapore as a country legislates morality or whatever passes for morality in that little island. Chewing gum is banned, its not sold anywhere. And if you are caught chewing gum, the consequences are heavy fines. So be it. What's the use of passing a law that will not be enforced? What's the point in banning kite flying, pillion riding, food at weddings, etc. when all of this will be done?

None, I am afraid.

So lets start growing lotus, and forget about the other sorrows of life. It would be the only way to go.

2006-02-28T07:43:00.000Z

The Banyan Tree getting closer

2006-02-28T07:41:00.001Z

The Banyan Tree

2006-02-28T07:41:00.000Z

The Banyan Tree from a distance

2006-02-17T15:59:00.000Z

Who are these people?

2006-02-16T05:45:00.000Z

The last couple of days have seen a lot of action in Lahore, Islamabad and Peshawer. The protests against the cartoons seems to be gaining some momentum. The proverbial "cutting off one's nose to spite one's face" is clearly applicable. Anything that gets in the way of these unruly mobs, gets decimated. So who really cares what they are burning down?

I thought the protest was against the countries that published the cartoons. As usual , I was wrong. The protest was against everything, the frustrations that we have as a society, come out in acts of random violence and destruction. All kinds of public and private property was destroyed and there are no signs of this abating.

I want to know who these people are. The Islamabad mob was made up of school kids, at least thats what I saw on TV and the newspapers. Totally understandable, an excuse to take the day off from school, a sort of field trip where you can do pretty much everything you want. The amusement parks that we have, leave a lot to be desired. So water slides are replaced by water canons, and people actually pay money to go to junk yards to break things, hey it can be done for free here.

I don't know what the mobs in Lahore and Peshawer were made up of. Probably students, and other people trying to find some entertainment, since kite flying is still banned and will only be allowed for two weeks, so we can have Basant a'la Elightened Moderation Style. The people in Peshawer even pulled down the telephone lines, broke windows of residences, set fire to the bus stand, I am just amazed at what we are capable of doing.

I wonder how many of these people had any idea what the cartoons were like. Probably 99 precent hadn't even seen the damned things. So somebody in the school backyard screams "Fight" and everyone rushes there. And throws in a punch or two.

I have nothing against protests. And if you just stand there and protest without making a nuisance of yourself, it really doesn't serve the purpose now, does it? A mob is a beast without reason, and I am not happy to say that the only way to control it would be by force. My lack of faith in humanity is reinforced every time I see things like this. Especially us, as a society. We lack the moral courage to stand up against anything. We are cowards. And understandably so. Hey if you are swimming in a pool of sharks, you really can't reason with them.

The analogy that comes to mind would be that you hear that somebody in the marketplace badmouthed you, and you come home and break your windows in protest. Does that make sense?

So who are these people? What drives them to do such things? Does anybody know? If yes, pray do tell.

Freedom of Speech?

2006-02-15T05:35:00.000Z

Wrote the following in response to an email from a friend

Very good argument. I totally agree with you. The flag-bearers of freedom of speech and other such lofty ideals have not been practicing what they have preached for the longest time. But then again, why would one expect them to be any different from the rest of humanity?

I am assuming that this is in reference to the recent uproar because of the cartoons that have been published in various newspapers in Europe. I would like to share my thoughts on the same.

I have had a look at the said cartoons and they are in bad taste, not because of religious reasons, but because when you single out a person on the basis of their ethnic origin, religion, etc. you are generalising, and that is never a good idea.

Lets look at Denmark, a few years ago, there was a painting by an artist which showed Jesus with an erection, now that was in bad taste and people protested. But it was still allowed, they went to court and the court said that it was within the freedom of speech realm. So I think Denmark can be let off the hook for not practicing what they preach, since there is no double standard there.

So if we agree that the cartoons were in bad taste, what do we do about it? Did we protest when the Jesus painting was published? I don't think we did, so this is not about cartoons in bad taste, it is specifically about these cartoons. So we are saying that do whatever you want, as long as you don't say anything that offends us.

The problem with living as part of a society is that you have to define legalities, and morality exists somewhere underneath in the grey area. You just can't legislate morality.

Lets take Pakistan as an example. We do have some minorities living here, although we are trying very hard to make their lives difficult. A cow is considered sacred for the Hindus; do we ever take that into consideration, especially at Eid ul Azha? So we decide that since for the majority of people, sacrificing a cow is not an issue, there is nothing illegal about it. The nice thing to do would be to not do it in their face.

I have read up on it, and supposedly this was a test to see if the Muslim minority in Denmark was integrated in the society to be able to allow something that wasn't kosher as per their personal belief, but it backfired. Muslims haven't been able to integrate in most western societies. Lets look at the Danish society, they are a permissive lot with all kinds of things that we find repugnant. So the question is, can people of different faiths live together? Do we as Muslims, allow people of other faith to live freely? Why do we bomb churches? Why are special security measures taken every time Moharram comes around?

I don't have an answer, I am just trying to see how all of this fits into the human psyche. Is killing another human being better compared to insulting them? Since insult them, we will, hold a bias in our hearts for people who look different, and feel deep in our hearts that we are superior. Typical xenophobia.

In a capitalistic world, where morality is sometimes defined because it makes better business sense, I suppose this too shall pass. I don't know how the boycott of Danish products will effect their economy, but if it does, we will see some changes. Maybe next time, they will think twice before doing something like this. But the problem is much deeper, and I don't think that will be resolved, at least not in the near future.

The Banyan Tree

2006-02-15T04:40:00.000Z

There are a few old banyan trees in the area where I live. Banyan trees are ungainly, and these old ones are majestic in their ugliness. Their branches span at least twenty five to thirty feet around the trunks. Once in a while, after it rains, the leaves are all clean and its a pretty sight in an area generally bereft of trees.

Generally you would find a fakir camped out by the trunk, the reason being the fact that it is always cooler under the shade of a banyan tree. The two trees I know, have been abandoned by their fakirs. Maybe because its not easy making a living beneath these two.

One of the trees has taken on the mighty CDA by falling smack in the path of the dual road that CDA is proudly building to facilitate the traffic that will be coming to the upcoming army sector. Heck, the Air Force and Navy have a sector of their own, how can the Army not have one? There are grand plans to build a grand palace for the king, among other things. Maybe the army will give up the other official palaces to universities, and the university in a palace must be better than the one in a tiny house. Whatever the reasons are, my ugly friend is in grave danger.

The work has started on the road. Right now they are leveling the ground on which it is to be built. So if you drive by, you can see where the road will be. I haven't seen an alternate path around the tree. So every day, when I drive by, I wonder if my friend will be there. Every day, I want to stop and take a picture, but I haven't yet. And like all regrets of life, maybe this shall happen before I do.

Yesterday, thousands of school kids were protesting against the cartoons. In order to show their anger and resentment against the countries which published the cartoons, they broke into offices, burnt cars, got baton-charged and tear-gassed. And at the end of the day, some were picked up by the police, to be released later on. Since the Interior Minister says they have to take into account the sensitivity of the issue. So they break up and burn down a few buildings and cars, what's important is that they vent their anger, right?

Wrong!!!!

I wonder if anyone will speak for my friend the tree. The powers that be, were justifying cutting down almost 4000 trees for the New Murree Project. What's one tree? And that too for the all powerful army. In Karachi, the trees in front of the Marriott were pruned to look like a petrified forest, because the Corps Commander's security was at risk. This poor tree, if allowed to stand, will create a curve in the road, which will slow down the 30 plus Mercedes and other assorted vehicles that whiz by in mortal terror. Can't let that happen.

Oh poor tree, I will write you an obituary once you are gone, I will praise your tireless work to purify the air and provide shade to stray animals. I will miss you.

PS I am only trying to fool the gods

To the citizens of La La Land

2006-01-25T04:49:00.000Z

Yes, I am back after a long hiatus. Laziness, travel and winter have kept me away, but all things must come to an end, and here I am.

I am addressing this to all the citizens of the land of the pure who are outraged by the recent missile attack on our sovereign state and killing of 18 of its subjects by an American missile/drone/UAV.

According to convention, firing upon and killing of it citizens by another country is an act of war. But unfortunately it does not apply in this case, where we have allowed the foreigners total freedom to search and destroy whatever they deem dangerous to their mission of fighting terrorism. And trust me, this is neither the first time this has happened, nor will it be the last.

I saw some opposition party members on television last night who were blaming this on the military dictatorship of FL. Hey where were you when they bombed Afghanistan in 1998 and some missiles reported fell in Pakistan and there were casualties? Not that I am condoning the current establishment for what they are doing or not doing, all our governments are the same when it come to kowtowing to the powers that be. They say jump and we say how high. We have no honour except when it comes to misplaced notions of virtues which allows us to condone killings in its name. "Even the gods battle in vain against stupidity."

Another item of interest. The Lahore Marathon is about to take place. Because of our sense of "honour" it has been decided that men and women will run separately. You might be delighted to know that all the people arrested for destroying public property and disrupting the Gujranwalla Marathon were set free by the government, which decided to withdraw its case against them. Enlightened Moderation, wherefore art thou?

The PPM, the first P standing for puppet is in the US these days. He should be thankful that the members of his delegation were not strip-searched at the airport. The best part of this is that it was all filmed and shown to the public at large. We don't mind such things, since they have nothing to do with "honour". It is the price to pay for getting a joyride to the first world. And to all those who have a problem with this, tell me how many of us want to live there and enjoy the good things for the paltry cost of being singled out for "random" checking?

During my visit to the earthquake effected areas, I met this guy who was complaining that the helicopters aren't dropping any aid to his village. He blamed the army pilots for not letting the aid agencies send relief goods to his village, even alleging that the local guy was drunk and couldn't find their village when they did make an attempt. So it came as no surprise when I heard that some people tried to hijack a helicopter and beat up the Pakistani safety pilot, in order to ensure delivery of goods. I have no comment. I wonder what happened to the 5.8 billion in aid that we were supposed to get. I am sure its being put to good use, the two people in my office from the area have been given rupees 25,000 each for rebuilding. Maybe that's where it went. You do the math.

Still trying to figure out the whole ruckus about the dams. Nobody has come out with a rationale and cost of building them. Yes it will have an environmental impact, yes it will cost money, yes there will be more control on the water, it cant be all good or all bad. But somehow that's what it seems like. Instead of trying to explain why it makes sense, FL decided to play the nationalistic card, which I am afraid, doesn't work. There is absolute lack of trust when it comes to the government. Who can we trust?

There must be some good news, other than the fact that Angelina Jolie has visited Pakistan twice and met with the PPM and FL. I guess that's incentive enough to want to be in power.

The Good Guys

2005-10-20T04:37:00.000+01:00

It has been a strange few days. All started with the earthquake on October 8, when the earth shook and trembled, and kept on shaking. Within a few minutes, after I had checked out the magnitude and location of the tremor, it was apparent that this was going to result in a lot of devastation. Unfortunately as the day progressed, and as the stories began pouring in, it seemed that it was going to be a lot worse than imagined.

Margalla Towers is located about a mile to the east of where we live, and became the focus of everyone's attention. It somehow became representative of the suffering and pain that the earthquake brought to our land of the pure.

I will not get into the obvious in this posting, it will definitely follow later, but here all I want to say is how overawed I am by the generosity shown by people. Within minutes of the earthquake, there were people out there, lending a helping hand to anyone and everyone. From trying to rescue people inside the collapsed building, to collecting things and putting them on trucks to send to effected areas.

I have been witness to acts of kindness, which have kindled hope in my most skeptical of hearts. Before the government machinery could move, there were people with supplies heading out to the mountains. There were people making human chains to remove debris from the collapsed building, to try and rescue the people trapped under. With their bare hands and most rudimentary of tools, these people, without giving their own safety a thought, dug through the rubble.

I don't know what drives these good guys. They called up their friends, collected money, food, clothing, bought things they thought were needed, arranged for transportation and went with the trucks to wherever they could find people to help.

I wish I could be more like them, all these good guys/gals, this kind of intrinsic goodness that is the epitome of humanity, this is where I wish all of us would get to. I am humbled. I have seen goodness from up close and I am in total awe.

Much Ado about Nothing

2005-10-06T10:01:00.000+01:00

I solemnly swear that this is the last time I will write about it, so just bear with me.

I had the misfortune of hearing the audio version of FL's interview with the Washington Post. Must be the masochist in me that persists in doing things like this. Anyway, the interesting thing is that he denies he put MM on the ECL, which is a direct contradiction of what he had said earlier in Australia I think. Poor sod!! I almost feel sorry for him. Almost being the keyword here.

The holy month is here. I think the best thing to do would be to declare it a month of national holiday. You can tell as soon as you get on the road that the faithful are hungry and irritated. Everyone is doing a big favour to the rest of the world by starving themselves through the day, and please don't expect them to do anything constructive. This is an argument that the infidels might use as an excuse against the whole concept of fasting, the possibility that depriving one's self of food and water the whole day might not be such a great idea after all, the results of Islamic medicinal research notwithstanding. But lets not go there.

I thought the whole idea was to try and abstain while going about daily life. I was wrong. Its about using this state as a valid excuse for not working altogether. But then again, the Muslims have inherited this from the other religions of the world, so they are not to be solely blamed.

I am also going to write the obituary of Islamabad soon. The only good thing about this city was the fact that it was deprived of people, now since that has been taken care of, it will meet its demise. The reason traffic was better compared to other cities was because there were no vehicles on the roads. I give it a few years at most, then it will be at par with the rest of the country. And Islamabad will be part of the greater Islamic Republic of Pakistan, with electricity and water shortages, bad roads and traffic jams, pollution, etc. We are cutting down the trees without planting new ones, will kill the water supply thanks to the New Muree project, and the population growth rate shows no signs of abating. So its imminent and this is a terminal patient.

The only good news or news that I can put a positive spin on is the fact that the price is petroleum products is going up. This might discourage people from driving around too much. Maybe somebody will think of a clever way of transporting more people without spewing out greenhouse gases. There used to be a bus service here, but it was shut down because of political differences or something. This would be a good time to start thinking about a mass transit system for Islamabad. Maybe an overhead train, to bring in commuters from Pindi and surrounding areas, stopping at a few points on the way. I am dreaming.

The third and final phase of the local bodies elections will happen today. The usual suspects' fielded candidates will be elected. I must give credit to FL for one thing, he allows the media to say whatever they want. I wish he would listen as well. I saw a screaming match between some government flackeys and the out-of-favour opposition guys. It wasn't pretty. With representatives like these, its no surprise where we are.

Oh well, the show must go on!

FL Strikes Again

2005-09-19T07:34:00.000+01:00

MM will be the end of FL. Just when you thought that FL would have learnt to keep his mouth shut, he comes out with the best of them all. In an interview with the Washington Post, he says and I quote

"..you must understand the environment in Pakistan, this has become a money-making concern. A lot of people say if you want to go abroad and get a visa for Canada or citizenship and be a millionaire, get yourself raped" unquote.

Bravo!!!

Both FL and his flunkeys have been trying to undo the damage by doing the following

1. Denial. He never said this.
2. Misquoted. It was quoted out of context, FL said he heard this remark somewhere, he was just quoting.
blah blah

My dear FL, you should know the fundamental rule of combating "foot in the mouth disease" which is "When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."

In the meanwhile, Washington Post says it stands by its story, they even have it taped and say they quoted his comments verbatim.

Another major blunder dear FL! My advice to you is to keep quiet, this too shall pass. Its not as if you have to get elected by the NGOs. You can always have "fair and transparent" elections when they happen again and become the supreme commander of everything, the president, prime minister, even a nazim, if you so desire. And according to you, Bush and the Canadian PM don't really care if you are in or out of uniform, etc. etc. Everyone can see that it is our holy father who sits in the Oval Office, who is the relevant authority on whether the President of our country is a general in uniform, so why even bother with the lesser mortals like the citizens of this country?

Read an interesting article today which drew parallels between the feudal society that FL is trying to rid us of by his Enlightened Moderation, and the response of his government and himself. Lets say there is a patriarchal society where a crime like rape is committed. The feudal lord will punish or not punish the perpetrator and make sure that the news doesn't leak out, because it means loss of honour if the outside world knows about the crime that happens within. Maybe FL wants to convert our society into a feudal society where he is the only lord and master. To be honest, I have no idea what he wants to do. But the contradictions in everything he does and says, is glaring, to say the least.

On a different note, but very relevant to the state of affairs, there was a list of names in the newspapers of our enlightened leaders who were given licenses to bear arms of prohibited bores. The best one was an empowered female minister of state for education of all the things (I am not sure what her current status is), who was issued a license to keep an assault rifle. I say this is a sure sign of the emancipation of women in our country, we have come a long way baby!!

I wonder why the religious parties have not uttered a single word about this whole mess. Maybe they have, like the lady senator who told MM to keep her mouth shut. They are more concerned these days about the registration and audit of the seminaries in the country, which is their personal domain, who cares about such trivial matters like rapes, since it can't be proved unless witnessed by four adult Muslim males. In the absence of which, the woman is tried for adultery and that is the end of that.

I am seeing a lot of incidents being reported which are about minor girls aged between 4 and 10 who are being criminally and sexually assaulted. I don't know the numbers, so I have no idea whether this has suddenly gone up or that it is being reported more. Makes me sick. I wouldn't dream of asking FL to step in, since I am sure he will only make a bigger mess. Maybe I should stop reading the newspapers.

I was attending a week long workshop at one of our best business schools. Everything is good, but I wonder what has happened to our students. Elsewhere in the world, students are the conscience of society, they speak out loud against all the wrongs and injustices that they see around them. Our students have participated in the political arena, by joining either ethnic or religion based parties, but they have never spoken out about issues like the environment or social injustices. Why? I don't have an answer.

One positive thing last week, the Supreme Court has taken a suo-moto notice of the New Murree project and has asked them to provide details of the environmental impact. I hope something good comes out of it, but I am not very optimistic, although just the mere fact is encouraging. But someone tell me this, the SC heard MM's petition, did something happen? I read somewhere that there are 30,000 pending petitions. Good luck with that.

So there you have it.

The wisdom that we lack

2005-09-09T08:06:00.000+01:00

The last couple of days have been spent watching the VVIP traffic move in front of the office. FL had arranged the Women Conference thing in order to do god knows what, next doors. So both days, the no parking street actually had the whole police force of Islamabad enforcing the no parking. While people walking on the road were told to get out of sight, and traffic was stopped miles away in all directions. Then came the moment that all were waiting for, sirens screaming, about 20 or thirty unmarked cars with black windows, came and went in all directions. Reminded me so much of our beloved warlords and dictators abundantly found in the third world, all fearful of their lives being lost while fighting the war against the enemy.

I am digressing here. Anyway, the two day international conference came to an end, and FL made his usual bold statements, the NGOs are bad-mouthing Pakistan, rape happens everywhere, why should Pakistan be singled out, and we are doing more for women than anywhere else in the world, yada yada yada. And my favourite woman, the Special Advisor to the PM, made the usual gestures. They just don't get it.

My dear FL, the problem is not rape itself. There are sick bastards everywhere in the world, and violence against women is very commonplace. What makes Pakistan special is the fact that some of these rapes are sanctioned by a parallel legal system, accepted by communities in which they happen, as punishment for petty crime. This is something which can only be changed by enforcing the law, and this is what the whole outcry is about, to raise awareness that breaking the law is going to have consequences, to let the women know that they can't be treated like this and they shouldn't feel threatened by going to the law after something like this happens to them.

In the meantime, another woman was raped, the whole thing was covered up and the woman escaped to the UK. And when she makes a statement where she is out of reach, FL says, "I am not with you out of Pakistan". Another woman, who was arrested because she showed up at the parliament, supposedly to seek help for finding her husband, gets raped by the police. What is going on here? I don't profess to know exactly what transpired, but the whole system is rotten. And FL, putting the gag order on NGOs and everybody else, is not going to help. We have to make sure that every woman in our country knows that she has rights and can't be treated like property.

How do we ensure that all citizens including women understand what their rights are? By educating them, by making a legal and law enforcement system that doesn't scare them more than the crime against them. By removing people who feel that "women should shut up and seek justice from god" from places of power and responsibility. Stopping MM from going abroad and talking about it, is not going to help.

This is the wisdom that we lack, and by the signs of it, we will not have it in the near future.

Oh Katrina!!!

2005-09-05T05:44:00.000+01:00

Its been an interesting few days, and although I haven't seen a lot of television, I assume it is filled with images of the aftermath of Katrina and the devastation in New Orleans. I have heard all the arguments and people's angry reactions, and am glad that Dubya is getting a tough time on this.

My observations are as following

1. Gun control
The news of people shooting at rescue choppers, just shows how nice it is to be able to bear arms. You get pissed off and you start shooting. So the governor of Louisiana has given "shoot to kill" orders to the police and other law enforcement agencies, brilliant move that, now we will have gunbattles in the streets.

2. The joys of free capitalism
America's neighbour Cuba gets hit by a lot of hurricanes, the socialist government there evacuates everyone, and the loss of life is minimal. The government of Louisiana tells people to evacuate, and the poor sods who live there have nowhere to go and nothing to take them there either. So they decide to brave it out, which turned out to be a big mistake. A hurricane of Katrina's power was not going to let that happen.

3. Race card
A lot of people are saying that this gross neglect is happening only because the majority of the people effected are black, I don't agree. I think the lines are drawn on purely economic divisions. The rich, whether they are black, pink or yellow, should get more help since they pay more taxes, and there you have it.

4. Scourge of god
This is an interesting one, in many flavours
a. This is happening to America because of Iraq and Afghanistan.
b. New Orleans is home to sinners. etc. etc.
I wish it were that simple, my question to these people would be, why did the tsunami hit Indonesia and killed a hundred thousand?? What did they do wrong?

5. Looting
That never fails to amaze me, when there is a breakdown of law and order, people resort to breaking into other peoples property and stealing what they can lay their hands on. Reminds me of the great New York power breakdown, where the same thing happened. Here we have people, who are in danger of dying of disease etc. and they go around stealing tvs. I just don't get it.

6. Statistics
I was reading somewhere that the number of hurricanes hasn't increased as compared to the last century, and therefore its not the changing environment that is causing this devastation. I am not sure about that, you can always play around with numbers to get the results you want. For example, they say that number of Americans KIA (Killed in Action) in Iraq is 18 hundred something, since all those who died later on in transit through Germany etc. are not being counted. Hmmmm...

7. Blog Surfing
I have been neglecting work and doing a lot of that, saw an interesting counter on one of the blogs, it was counting down the numbers of days, right down to the seconds, that Dubya remains in office. I wish I were that optimistic, replacing him will not change things much.

8. Pakistan and Israel
The foreign ministers meet. And then there is talk of FL meeting with Sharon, and then it hit the fan. Hahaha!!! I think this is a total set up, the government is creating another non-issue for the mullahs to jump on. I love the fact that the Palestinian Authority denied that they were consulted, right after our government spokesman said that "We consulted both Saudi Arabia and Palestine Authority before we arranged the meeting". And thank you so much for consulting Saudi Arabia, maybe while they were at it, they should have sought the permission of the king of Bhutan. What the??

9. Murree
There was a letter in the newspaper by the Director Administration of the said project, who says only 1 percent of the 400,000 trees will be cut down, which means only 4000 trees, and they plan to plant 200,000 trees in the area. I wish I could believe that, does anyone see the conflict of interest here? Why isn't anyone else convinced? We only have the people connected with the project making statements like that, and once they have destroyed this, who will hold them accountable?

Where are the greenpeace? Come on guys, please come and chain yourself against some of our trees. This SOS goes out to you.

I hope for good things.

Looking for good news

2005-08-20T05:10:00.000+01:00

I tried, I looked at all the news to find something good, but failed miserably. I wanted to focus on the positive, as I felt that all my postings were about things that are going wrong. It was all in vain. Is it because there is nothing positive being reported in the local press, because when I go out of the house, all I find is chaos and disrepair? I don't know, you decide.

1. The good news
We have power and water, and the phone works. We should be thankful for little mercies. The weather is improving, as I sit and write this, it has rained and the air has a pleasant coolness about it. I am alive and well, all the bills are paid, my car runs well. Thats about it.

2. The not-so-good news
Where do I start and where do I end?

The first phase of the local elections has ended. It was "peaceful" since only a couple of dozen people were killed in poll related violence, I wonder how many killings it takes to make it otherwise. As expected, the ruling party backed, non-party candidates have won for the most part. Does anyone see the farce that we are enacting? I think its like the case of a man wearing a toupee, the only person who gets convinced that the hairpiece is for real is the wearer.

Pakistan to have 110 nuclear warheads by the end of the year. I suppose this must be good news for someone out there. I think its a shame. For a country that has the lowest literacy rate in the region, if not the whole world, we sure have our priorities sorted out.

Iran refuses to back down from its position, and goold old Dubya says that military action cannot be ruled out. I wonder where this will lead, more misery for the common man.

The new Murree plan will proceed, destroying prime forest and mountains, to create a "world class" mountain resort. I wonder who defines what world class is. I just wish that we had more sense, the reason why this is being built is because people will spend money and make money out of this. I think we can still create opportunities for people to make money without destroying nature, but will anyone listen? I will not spend my money on this. Will not visit the new Murree city, will not invest money in it.

This is another day, tried some more for good news, couldnt find any, so be it!

Independence Day

2005-08-15T11:04:00.000+01:00

I can see that the commercialism of 14th August is a good thing, it allows some people to make a living, and for the fun starved masses of our land of the pure, it provides an excuse to break all kind of laws, hanging outside their car windows, lighting firecrackers, etc. I just don't get it, probably just me, who doesn't enjoy the cheap thrills associated with putting flags on cars (the flags by the way are usually made totally out of proportion and wrong placement of the crescent and star), So I will let it be.

What I am more interested in is the history of this so called independence from the colonial rule of the British Empire. Before the British came, we had been ruled over by successive dynasties of various invaders. If we look at the history of the Indian Sub-continent, we can see that people of central Asian states used to march down through the Khyber Pass, kick some serious butt and then take over for a while. And when the news of the riches of India reached Europe, they wanted part of it too and sailed in and took over what they could. And if you looked closely at the demographics, you would find that there were always people from different parts of the world, who were the rulers. I don't think the indigenous people of India had much of a chance. Like the American Indians, these people were almost wiped out. There are only a few places in the southern part of India that can boast having aboriginal origins.

So there we have it, the "Aryans" from somewhere arrive and become the Brahmins of society. Everyone else is below them, the locals the lowest caste possible. The Arabs come and want to Arabise everyone, and the Afghans want a piece for themselves. In all this confusion, the British arrive to milk the cash cow, and there are no Indians left. They are Mughals, or Pathans, or Brahmins and the Punjabis, but no one that can be called Indian.

The second world war is drawing to an end, the British Empire is tired, and knows its going to cost a lot more to keep the Indian colony than its worth. There really isn't much left, the jute is being replaced by artificial fiber, the people have been taxed to death, so the best option is to get out. Now they need somebody to hand over the country to, the National Congress has a lot of following, their non-violent movement has converted a lot of people and the British know they are on the losing side. The Muslim Zamindars and Princes aren't happy with this. Congress says they will enact and implement the Land Reform Act, which means the end of fiefdoms, so what can they do? And the Muslim League is formed, mostly made up of big land owners. The Pathans don't want part of this, the Balochis are too few, the Muslim Zamindars of Punjab know that if they are part of greater India, their lives of leisure are over. So give us a separate homeland, since the Hindus will eat us alive. I am not sure why the Bengalis fell for this ploy, my guess is that being a lot more sophisticated, they were passionate about a cause. Something which didn't work out eventually, and they went their seperate way.

So there we have it, the Muslims of a few provinces got their separate real estate, when the majority of Muslims still lived in the other India. They got to retain their fiefdoms, and still do. The rest is what we see today.

Independence day? I don't think so. A deal made with a weakening empire, based on the wrong motives for selfish reasons. But let these buggers rejoice, they don't know any better.

The Painted Veil

2005-08-08T13:37:00.000+01:00

Title stolen from Maugham's book of the same name. No relevance whatsoever, by the way, it is a great book.

Here are the two perspectives on the veil

1. The veil stands for modesty. The reason why women should be hidden is because if a man sees them, he will want to fornicate with them, and that is why all women should be hidden from men.

2. Men will always want to fornicate with women, I thought the whole idea was to be able to control one's instinct of procreation, so the ideal we are pursuing meant that we could feel (until the time we became Vulcans a'la Mr. Spock) and yet, not act upon those feelings.

So African Affirmation, there are two types of people, people who think that we will never change, and thus the veil, and people like me, who think that pursuing higher ideals is what our goal should be. In our Utopia, there is a difference between humans and animals. The animals procreate because its a natural urge, and every time they see a member of the opposite sex who is ready at some stage of ovulation to reproduce, just go for it.

And the humans in our world will be able to control those primitive urges, and wine and dine the object of their desire, and no more club her on the head and drag her by the hair. Those were the good old days, but alas they are no more.

The problem is where these two worlds intersect, where there are evolved human beings and the other ones. Lets see who wins....

The beautiful hills that were

2005-08-05T10:10:00.000+01:00

The beautiful hills that were

Last weekend, we decided to leave the city and get away from it all. Packed our bags, threw them into the car and set out. It had rained earlier, and the air was clean. As we climbed the winding roads and the smoke of the buses and trucks got thicker, and the honking and crazy driving was getting worse, we thought of what awaited us at the end and it kept us going.

I started thinking about my childhood, and then ten fifteen years ago, after a certain point, the air changed; it suddenly became cool and fresh and smelled of pine trees. Yes, the buses and trucks were still spewing diesel fumes, the road was much worse and drivers were still crazy but something has changed. The polythene bags that litter the landscape are far more than they used to be. There is mad construction everywhere, people are making buildings that stand out like eyesores. The apartment buildings, which although new, look dilapidated, and the filth, oh the filth. People throwing things out of moving cars and buses, bottles, empty bags of chips, juice cartons, cigarettes.

When we finally reached our destination, it was in a corner tucked away from the mad hassle. The view was magnificent, the sun was about to set and the air felt different. I sat out on the balcony and breathed in the hills. As the sun set, I could almost imagine myself back in time. Thats when the fun started.

The lights came on, everywhere. The hills were dotted with them, crazy chaotic lights, everywhere. The place we were staying had these huge yellow lights which I wanted to break.

Thats when I decided to go to sleep, which was nice, being able to sleep without air-conditioning. Woke up at dawn, the sun came out the wrong side, so didn’t see it, but it was still nice. Went out and enjoyed the fresh air.

That when we decided to explore, which turned out to be a big mistake, just a couple of kilometers down the road, it seemed like the slums of any large third world city. This wasn't the Murree I remembered from my childhood. The roads were littered with wrappers and empty bottles, the walls were painted with signs proclaiming the best rooms in town and lots of real estate news. I had to get out of there, and I did.

On my way back, I was wondering if I was the only person who wanted to preserve this, while others were busy cutting down trees and leveling hills to make more slums. Don’t they see that the very thing they are selling will be destroyed by this? The damned population is increasing at a rate which will destroy everything. Why can't we see this? The beautiful hills will not be, in a few decades, and we will have high-rise slums next to Saiful Mulook, I don't think I could bear that.

Let’s find a way to stop the destruction of nature, otherwise there will be nothing left. We come from Mother Nature, and without her, we will not survive.

The news from La La Land

2005-07-20T06:42:00.000+01:00

A few weeks have passed since I posted last, lots of things have happened in our wonderful land of the pure, and as usual, I feel the need to tell all.

1. Hasba Bill
What a wonderful development, the MMA government of NWFP has passed the Hasba Act, which is the best thing to happen to the province and the country since Zia passed the Hudood Ordinance. There is no need to extol on the virtues of this bill which will wipe out all evil from the province, since that is clear to all. The only problem I see with it is that as usual this will be used to victimize and persecute only the poor and the downtrodden, and the enforcement of this act will not extend to the high and mighty. The people who are reading this are not effected by such mundane things, and that's why some of them have no problems with it. Soon we will have a Hasba Force active in the wild west, and people should be prepared to get flogged if they are found indulging in amoral activities, can't have people not going for prayers, or not growing facial hair in the holy tradition, now can we?

2. The education report
This was publish by some evil foreign NGO and is full of lies, Pakistan stands last in terms of education for its people in terms of providing opportunity for its children to get primary education, and spending in proportion to other important things like buying Land Cruisers for its representatives. I say bullocks! It is far more important to spend money on the welfare of our elected and non-elected officials than silly things like education. Buying large SUVs for our enlightened leaders provides washing opportunities for these kids who have to earn a living for themselves and their impoverished lots, who are procreating like there is no tomorrow.

3. The beautiful Hudood Ordinance
An honourable brother decides to kill his seventeen year old sister, since she wants to marry some guy. After killing her, he gives himself up at the police station, knowing fully well that he is protected by the Qisaas and Diyaat act, which means that the elder brother can come forward and forgive him, absolving him of the crime he has committed. It is so brilliant that the law is formed in a way that the loopholes are clear to everyone, you don't even need a lawyer to interpret them. And we all know, lawyers are scum.

4. Saudi women
I can't understand their obsession with being able to drive on the road. Isn't it better to be driven? Its a good thing, the wise know that women are not meant to drive.

5. MM and ECL
I read today that she is still on the list, please refer to my earlier post. I guess I will have the last laugh.

6. A question
I am trying to figure out something about the Islamic laws, I have looked up some reference sites and I still don't have an answer. As far as I can see, one might be excused for committing a murder, but they will always have their hand cut off for theft. That doesn't seem fair. Anyone?

Viva La Republique!!

Untitled

2005-06-29T02:05:00.000+01:00

Lets just agree to disagree on this. I don't think I will ever be able to understand the Enlightened Moderation of the whole MM fiasco, because it is not based on any kind of logic, it is based on a certain kind of thinking, to which I don't subscribe, and therefore there is no point is pursuing the argument.

This is just damage control, and come to think of it, not even that. They thought they were doing the right thing, and probably still think the same say. Its just that the holy father (in this case the mother) sent the holy writ and what else could be done but try and please her by changing a few things.

I have a three point agenda for this post

1. Bad press
2. Lack of control/an over zealous cog in the wheel
3. Bad bad damage control

1. Bad press
It would be bad publicity if MM went to Amreeka and told the world about what happened to her. This is the same kind of mentality that would censor a kiss but would have no problem with a man singlehandedly blowing away a hundred people in the most explicit way possible. Might as well just do away with all bad news, I am sure that would fall in line with this reasoning, so no bad news, that means nothing bad happened, and we can all go to sleep knowing all is good. I am happy to report that PTV is following that line, and has been for a few years. The proverbial pigeon closing its eyes and imagining the cat away.

2. Lack of control
I think what probably happened was that someone thought they would be extra smart and had her name put on the ECL and then took away her passport. This unfortunately became a bigger issue than what anyone had bargained for. So FL had a choice, either to say that he sanctioned it, or admit that he had no control and the bunch of morons who work for him aren't very enlightened or moderate. He chose the former. Condi makes the phone call, and Kasuri has a case of temporary constipation. So they refer to the same morons for damage control, which brings us to 3.

3. Damage control
Imagine, the same whizkids who were responsible for the screwup, were given the responsibility of finding a way to bail out FL and his stooges. And they come up with another brilliant strategy. Suddenly they want to return her passport and strike her name off ECL (something I don't think has happened by the way, wait till she tries to travel). May I ask why suddenly it will be ok to wash our "dirty linen" in public? And to top it all, the Supreme Court suddenly wants to try her appeal. I am wondering what happened to MM's mother who had suddenly become unwell, Nilofer Bakhtiar is suddenly not as concerned as she was earlier when she announced that MM will not be traveling for that reason.

It wouldn't be so bad if we learn something from this, but being the eternal pessimist, especially when it comes to the intelligence of my fellow beings, I don't have much hope. We will see this happen again and again, so be it!

This is funny

2005-06-24T10:39:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I wonder if not reading the newspapers is a good idea, but if it weren't where would I get my laughs from. Some nuggets

1. PDF Scheme
The government of Punjab launched a lottery called the Punjab Development Fund with the tag line
"pachees ruppay main dhaee karrore". So you bought a ticket, and could win lots of money if your number came up.
A certain gentleman has gone to the High Court petitioning that this must be stopped because

a. He was sold two tickets with the same numbers, and more interestingly
b. Lottery is un Islamic, and so be it.

Bhatti Saab of Larkana, I am with you my friend. They have the gall to sell you two tickets with the same number, how dare they? I mean that makes it double un Islamic.

2. FL
FL made another bold statement while on his current tour, he told MM not to go abroad because the NGOs are the devil's instruments. I love you my man, I wonder if your paranoid schizophrenia has a cure?

3. Further developments in MM story
A woman senator declared that MM should shut up and seek justice from Allah. Why not? Lets just do away with the courts and police, we dont even need the legislative assembly. If you get robbed or killed, you will get justice in the next world right? So why are we spending so much money on police and judges, its a total waste.

4. PTCL
I met a guy yesterday who informed me that PTCL's staff is the smartest bunch of people on earth, and getting the Arabs to run PTCL would be a mistake since they are all a bunch of morons.

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Tales of the Unexpected

2005-06-15T09:19:00.000+01:00

Some interesting stuff that I have read in the newspapers in the past few days

1. Mukhtar Mai and ECL

This is interesting. The government decides to put her name on the exit control when they find out she is traveling to the badlands. The PM says he doesn’t know anything about it. The Advisor to the government says, she is being provided with security, therefore she can’t move around freely. After meeting these morons in Islamabad, MM says she doesn’t want to travel since her mother is sick. Sounds real fishy to me.

Seems like there are people who are scared that if she goes abroad, our holy land's name will be maligned, because more people would know about our Enlightened Moderation, where a woman gets raped by a group of people because her brother or somebody had an affair with some woman or something. And then the law enforcement agencies don’t do anything about it. FL steps in and makes sure some of the culprits get arrest, after which they are all let go, because of some technicality.

Brilliant move! Kudos to whoever came up with this one, should be given Hilal-e-Pakistan for saving the name of the Holy Land.

2. Sheeda Tully and Bootcamps
I like that Kashmiri guy, called something Malik. He has such a sullen expression on his face all the time. I caught part of his speech on TV; he is not a happy camper. Anyway, he reportedly told the press yesterday that Sheeda Tully ran a Jihadi camp. Today he had a stroke and has been told to stay in bed and not talk to anyone. Hmmmm!!!! Is it just me?? Meanwhile, Sheeda Tully denies all and says he only gave food and shelter to people who came from Kashmir.

3. Women in the Parliament
Qazi's daughter says that women in the parliament is wrong. She is a member herself. To which she says, she will go home after all the women are sent home. Profound logic!!

4. PTCL
Government says we are selling off PTCL. Union says no way, we will go on strike. Government says privatization deferred indefinitely. Government sends army to take over the installations. Government says we are privatizing, Unions declared illegal, so go bugger off!! Now I really don’t have an opinion about the whole privatization (actually I do, but let’s worry about that later), the government is a lying bunch of morons, that’s what I have a problem with.

In my personal opinion, PTCL should be disbanded.

That about covers it.

Blower's daughter

2005-06-05T05:14:00.000+01:00

Can't take my eyes off you....

Seems like I can't stop listening to this song. It haunts me

http://www.warnerbrosrecords.com/damienrice/

What does it mean? Who is the blower's daughter and why does she (I am assuming its her who is represented by the female voice) say she doesn't loathe the protaganist?

So it is, just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me, most of the time

and so it is, shorter story
no love no glory
no hero in her sky

can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you

and so it is
just like you said it should be
we'll both forget the breeze
most of the time

and so it is
the colder water
the blower's daughter
the pupil ....

I can't take my eyes off you....

I can't take my mind off you
till I find somebody new

strange twist at the end. The tag line of the movie is, if you believe in love at first sight, you will never stop looking.

so there it is

At least they are not asleep

2005-05-27T06:21:00.000+01:00

After I had posted, I realized I had missed out on something, there was a story of a man who had filed a paternity suit against his wife, claiming that the child was not his and wanted to prove it on the basis of dna testing that was done on the child. The Shariat Court threw the case out, saying that dna test results were inadmissable.

The reason why I talk about these things is not because I have a judgement call to make, I just find most of these things ludicrious. And wonder if I am the only person who sees the stupidity. So the average moron will keep doing things like this, its for the lawmakers and people who implement these laws to make sure they aren't wasting everybody's time. As it is, there are enough people who are stuck in the justice system and lives have been put on hold just so that they waste yet another day debating the rigid and outdated Hudood Ordinance.

Our Fearless Leader gave a statement yesterday, saying that DNA testing is admissable. Which is good, but I have a few questions

1. Since when did FL become an expert in Shariat Law?
2. Why not do away with the whole Hudood thing and replace it with something that makes sense?

And the reason is simple, FL is not so fearless as he would have us believe. For reasons best known to him, he keeps making noises, and then makes a hasty retreat everytime the mullah brigade rears its ugly head. I have said this before and I will say it again, I would respect the man if he had some agenda and he stuck to it, instead of making these u-turns.

So there we have it.

I cannot understand the fascination of people with reality shows. Which I suppose is responsible for a lot of shows based on fantasy and magic that I cannot stand either. Switch on the tv and thats what you will find, a camera crew following people around or shows that have people with powers of magic and ESP. Hey I like shows like CSI, NYPD Blues and the various law dramas, so sue me!

Oh well, I have to prepare for my interview tomorrow, and enough procrastination.

The years of our discontent

2005-05-24T04:21:00.000+01:00

What a country?!! This was the exclamation made by the guy (wearing a blonde wig and a phony accent) to his guide at the end of every little segment in one of the greatest shows on PTV called Kaliyaan. The guide would generally be showing the tourist around and they would find something totally amazing which you can only find in our holy land.

The past few weeks have been very interesting, there is a silent tug of war going on between the forces of good and evil, both convinced they are right, while the eye in the sky watches with impotent fury. I think I will remain the observer, slightly biased toward the evil side, since there is no way in hell I can identify with the good.

There have been a few newsworthy stories in the newspapers and I think most of them have been talked about to death, but I like to put my own twist on them. So here goes nothing

1. Video evidence not applicable to Hudood Ordinance

Court dismisses allegations of adultery on a woman because according to the learned judge's understanding of Hudood Ordinance, the only way adultery can be proven is by having four Muslim men witness it. My only question is why the plaintiff brought a suit only against the woman in the alleged homemade porn, and not the two men she was filmed with?

Maybe it was because there were four Muslim men who were witness, two participating and a couple filming it etc. So the two men couldn't be accused, since their deed could only be verified by two and a half witnesses.

I say Way to go Judge Man!!!

2. LHC validates marriage of a 12 year old

The Lahore High Court validates the marriage of a 12 year old girl to a man 13 years her senior, saying that a girl becomes an adult when she reaches puberty. This is something that is troubling me, and not just because of the obvious reasons. The age of consent in some countries is 13 (The Netherlands e.g.). I have just finished reading Lolita by Nabokov, and the neo-cons in all parts of the world would gladly lynch Humbert Humbert, all except from our holy land.

At the same time, there was a news item about child marriages in India, which is at least illegal. Apparently the marriages are not consummated till the child reaches puberty. So the question is, should kids be allowed to engage in sexual activity as soon as their hormones kick in? If yes, should they be also be allowed to get into legally binding contracts like marriage? If the answer to that is affirmative, then should they also be treated as adults in all aspects?

The problem is that adulthood cannot be measured; I have met eight year olds who were more mature than most thirtysomething people I know. What society figured out was that a line needed to be drawn to differentiate adults from non-adults and this was done so that adults were defined as people who could primarily take the financial and other responsibilities for their actions. The average age of a person who starts earning a livelihood is what determines adulthood, and unfortunately not the fact that they can reproduce. Legal obligations like buying property, starting a business, getting married etc. require that the person is financially responsible. Thus the age of 18 or 21 defining an adult, based on averages. Everything else stems from this.

People just seem to miss this point and get into a moral debate and start quoting historical precedents, both for and against. Get over it already!!

3. The marathons and the mullah brigade

This is the funniest of them all, the government can't seem to decide what side it is on. The mullahs have the power to disrupt, the police does what its told and its more fun watching people run for cover, nearer the spirit of the marathon. On a serious note, the emancipation of women will take more than running marathons with men. See above!!

4. The desecration of the holy book

I think all books are holy, and people should react whenever a book is burnt or desecrated. Getting killed over it is probably not a very smart thing to do. Protest, protest and protest about anything and everything, just dont do things which need another protest from somebody else.

Its funny how we are spending our energy on pointless futile things, but maybe, and that's an optimistic maybe, we will learn something from all this. Probably not, as this wise German philosopher said and I quote, "Even the gods battle in vain against stupidity".

So I laugh at the news and say to myself, "What a country!!!"

Huh?

2005-05-13T14:43:00.000+01:00

Just yesterday I thought I would start a blog, dont ask me why. It was one of those things that happen for entirely no reason. Like you wake up one day to discover that your existence, or for that matter, anyone's existence is primarily pointless. There might be some secondary reasons for existing, but we are not here to discuss those.

I am going to be unemployed in a few days time, which is a new experience, because since I started working almost twelve years ago, I have transitioned from one job to another generally over a weekend and sometimes even less. This time around, it will be almost two weeks before I start another. I am also toying with some ideas of how not to work anymore, but alas, that seems undoable at this point in time and space.

Holy Zarquon

No Rapture Time for me!

Interview with a Security Guru

The question

The Panacea

Oppression or submission?

The Tree

More questions

Ramblings

To flog or not to flog?

Blowing up for Swat

The killing must stop

One Year in Forty Minutes

Viva Le Republique

Bush and the shoes

Thought we were the only ones

Obama talks about religion

In search of Arcadia

Damn, there goes yoga!

Obama has won!

Who will be the next leader of the free world, part two

The New Old Genre

Who will be the next leader of the free world?

The New Consipracy Theory

Hail to the new chief

Here we go again

Farewell FL

Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon

Time Travel

The Gods vs. Stupidity

The Rough Road to the Truth

If wishes were horses...

The Continuing Chief Justice Saga

Ashes and Snow

You gotta love PTA

Return of the Pink Panther

Run by Amy Macdonald

Post Script

Kamila Shamsie - Broken Verses

Charlie Wilson's War Part Two

The Geometry of God by Uzma Aslam Khan

Charlie Wilson's War

Things to do List

I told you so

No Country for Old Men

Long live the Queen!

Back to square one

Amnesia or Denial?

Anastasio Somoza Garcia

Total Bollocks!

Let the festivities begin

Politicking

The Red Brigade aka Lal Masjid Pograam

Pakistan Zindabad!

Films in languages that I don't understand

Pink Panther Strikes Again

The New Blood Sport

The Strangest Bedfellows

Viva La MMA

The Kite Flyers aka The Lotus Eaters

Who are these people?

Freedom of Speech?

The Banyan Tree

To the citizens of La La Land

The Good Guys

Much Ado about Nothing

FL Strikes Again

The wisdom that we lack

Oh Katrina!!!

Looking for good news

Independence Day

The Painted Veil

The beautiful hills that were

The news from La La Land

Untitled

This is funny

Tales of the Unexpected

Blower's daughter

At least they are not asleep

The years of our discontent